Thursday, July 18, 2019
Monday, July 15, 2019
Aloha Oe
I have many stories to tell of this transfer alone. There's the time we drove to south point, for example. But the truth is that the stories aren't what truly matter. The stories I tell are simply the means to communicate my feelings from the world of my life to the world of yours. You've read these for that past two years, and you've seen the changes happen. You can see a difference between my first email and my last. You watched me grow up, you listened as I told you the story of the islands that changed my heart, and changed who I am. And now that we're at the end of it all it almost doesn't feel real at all. On Sunday the ward sang Aloha Oe to me one last time. I called the mission president's assistants and got a copy of my itinerary in the mail. Over 715 days later, my journey here has come to an end. My story was an open book for you to explore, and my experiences were a catalyst for the road that now lay ahead. I can't see the future, but I can see myself now. Somehow I feel that despite my shortcomings, despite the lackluster moments that painted my mission, somehow....
Somehow it feels like I've done something good.
Something truly good has come of all this.
Ultimately, I know that life is hard, and that it stretches each of us to our absolute limits. I know people will hate you in your life, and that's hard. I know you will find yourself in struggles I can't even imagine. But I know that somehow, even in the jaws of hell itself, there's a light to be found. There's a light that whispers softly to each of us, and it's in these whispers that hopeful message that pulls us through the darkest times and carries us when we're weak. That voice is from a loving God and a loving savior, and the message is always the same.
"I love you. And I will never leave you."
I close this record with a melancholy I can't fully describe. I know it's going to be an adjustment to come home. I know I'll miss this place more than I can possibly comprehend right now. I know that. But I also know something else. I know that no matter how hard it gets, I can only do what I can do. And that's enough for the Lord. I know that this is the truth, and that it truly brings joy beyond what you can ever imagine. I know God lives. And I know Jesus Christ is the savior and redeemer of the world. I know, that everything is going to be OK. And I close my testimony and my last email, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
See you soon.
Somehow it feels like I've done something good.
Something truly good has come of all this.
Ultimately, I know that life is hard, and that it stretches each of us to our absolute limits. I know people will hate you in your life, and that's hard. I know you will find yourself in struggles I can't even imagine. But I know that somehow, even in the jaws of hell itself, there's a light to be found. There's a light that whispers softly to each of us, and it's in these whispers that hopeful message that pulls us through the darkest times and carries us when we're weak. That voice is from a loving God and a loving savior, and the message is always the same.
"I love you. And I will never leave you."
I close this record with a melancholy I can't fully describe. I know it's going to be an adjustment to come home. I know I'll miss this place more than I can possibly comprehend right now. I know that. But I also know something else. I know that no matter how hard it gets, I can only do what I can do. And that's enough for the Lord. I know that this is the truth, and that it truly brings joy beyond what you can ever imagine. I know God lives. And I know Jesus Christ is the savior and redeemer of the world. I know, that everything is going to be OK. And I close my testimony and my last email, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
See you soon.
At the End of Days
Tuesday, July 9,5:30am-
I arise to my alarm and get out of bed to pray for the district. Elder Lopez is still fast asleep, as are Elders Bass and Hollist in the next room over. I get up and begin to do my rounds of the apartment- 2 roaches in the kitchen, 1 in the bathroom. After taking care of those, I make sure all the dishes in the sink are done, and any left in the drying rack get properly stored. It's at this point that I begin to study Japanese by reading aloud from the Book of Mormon. I find it embarrassing when people listen to me read in Japanese, so I do it by myself to be able to get the most out of my study. As I finish my chapter I make my way back to my bed and pray again. Midway through the alarm goes off. 6:30am. Time to wake up. I start studies in English this time, and then eat my breakfast. I do this every morning. It helps me stay on top of things, or at least it helps me believe that I'm on top of things. Deep down I know control belongs to someone above me, but come what may I'll do my best to handle it. The only day that's different is Sunday. On Sundays, I sleep til 6:30. It is a day of rest after all.
Saturday: July 13, 5:30am.
There's the alarm again. Time to get out of bed. There's only one roach this time. Only one. I chuckle a little bit. How fitting it is that this is the last day, and this one is the last roach left. I almost take pity on it, but then I notice it's carrying eggs, and my pity quickly subsides. Once that's taken care of, it's time for dishes. There are more today than usual, but that's fine. I've grown to like doing this in the dishes morning. The stress begins to melt. 6:00am. Only 30 minutes until it's time to "get up". I read a few quick verses out of my now well used Japanese copy of the book of Mormon. I kneel down to pray at 6:28am. And thus ended the morning routine. I'll never be able to do this again. It's funny how the smallest little parts of your day, the parts you once thought were annoying or that you couldn't wait to be done with, you find yourself longing to have just one more chance to do them. Just for the experience. The atmosphere. I look up from my scriptures, out the window I see a pair of gorgeous yellow Saffron Finches. I admire their feathers, watching them play in the grass. Something inside of me longs for them to stay. As if the moment they leave I'll lose the memory of them forever. The birds chirp happily and fly away. I wonder if the other missionaries will ever take the time to notice the birds in the morning. The birds will never know that I noticed them. They'll keep doing what they've always done, and they'll be living happily in Hilo, the same world they were born into, the only place they've ever known, and they'll never have to leave until they die. Part of me envies them. Part of me feels bad for them. Part of me knows it doesn't matter. I snap myself out of it. How long was I sitting there, I wonder? What is time anyway? Why does it matter? I try to convince myself that it's not moving forward. Nothing’s changing. Maybe I'll get transferred to Maui. I've always wanted to go to Maui. I hear there are lots of chameleons there.... I shake my head silently. Time to stop kidding myself. I'm not going to Maui. I'm not staying in Hawaii any longer. This is probably my last real day as a missionary. I close my scriptures, pull out my suitcase, and open it. Suddenly I realize I'm crying. Time to start packing, Elder. Time to start packing.
On July 12, 2019 I realized something that hadn't hit me until just recently. Somehow, between the trials and the miracles, I've actually been here for two years already. What struck me the most I think is that the day itself wasn't some climactic moment or special episode in the show of life like I thought it would be. It wasn't this big conclusive moment for me. At least not at first anyway. At first it was just... weird. In the morning I got an email from my mom. "Congratulations! You've officially done it! You've served the Lord for two years and completed an honorable mission." That was the first time it really sunk in how long I've been gone. Most things that followed that moment are a blur. But I think, somewhere along the trail of miracles and tears, I found myself at the end of the road unexpectedly. Two years. Two years... Two.... Years..... My memories cut in and out as I think back on it all. There is after all, so much to take in. Campbell, Curtis Zeek, Tyler Ramos, Nunn, Orihuela, Alex Coleman, Deadman, Ashby, Lock, Bishop Ho, Maxwell, The Gomes family, The Vickers, baptisms, the greatest six weeks of my life, Taka, Durrant, friendships, drama, whitewashes, Kaneohe, the waterfalls, the rain, Hoke, Bird, Smith, Kaonohi family, England, music, morning dew in the grass as we play ultimate frisbee at 5:45am, doing it for Japan, stickers on the calendar, orange bang with Bro. Hovey, dinner with the Davis family, worry, interviews, one year gone by, leaving Oahu for the first time, York, Atwood, Uncle Kunane on Kauai, home on the dry side, bikes in the sun dried dirt, the bumpiest road, telling stories during finding, kicking logic to the curb, doing the impossible, praying, Blackmore, Johnson, Barbeau, exchanges with Eames, gnats in the sky, gnats in my eye, big storms, P.O. Box mail, 400 days, then 500. 600 days. Back to Oahu to see Elder Klevengot of the seventy, notes and notes, transfer news, Hilo with Brooksby, loving it, Japanese lessons, rain, green, Collins, Pukahi, Bass, making more than memories, building more than testimonies, knowing the love of God, 700 days, LaCorte, Lopez, thoughts of home, Hawaii, trees, more rain, Maui Mike's fire roasted chicken, plate lunches, scriptures that mean something, the Enos Family, Aloha Oe-
... Sorry. I know it's a lot to read. It's a lot to write. But it's how I feel. I'm going to go on a slight tangent for a moment, but it relates so I hope you'll indulge me a bit here. One of my favorite poems is a video essay about California Adventure Park. It talks about the magic of the park and the joy that came from it, as well as the sadness of the changing landscape it now represents-the loss of rides that carried memories worth far more than the price of admission. For my final email of the mission, I thought it was fitting, so I've adapted the words to my own circumstances, and made some slight changes to the meaning, but the spirit of it remains the same.
~ahem, here goes~
I arise to my alarm and get out of bed to pray for the district. Elder Lopez is still fast asleep, as are Elders Bass and Hollist in the next room over. I get up and begin to do my rounds of the apartment- 2 roaches in the kitchen, 1 in the bathroom. After taking care of those, I make sure all the dishes in the sink are done, and any left in the drying rack get properly stored. It's at this point that I begin to study Japanese by reading aloud from the Book of Mormon. I find it embarrassing when people listen to me read in Japanese, so I do it by myself to be able to get the most out of my study. As I finish my chapter I make my way back to my bed and pray again. Midway through the alarm goes off. 6:30am. Time to wake up. I start studies in English this time, and then eat my breakfast. I do this every morning. It helps me stay on top of things, or at least it helps me believe that I'm on top of things. Deep down I know control belongs to someone above me, but come what may I'll do my best to handle it. The only day that's different is Sunday. On Sundays, I sleep til 6:30. It is a day of rest after all.
Saturday: July 13, 5:30am.
There's the alarm again. Time to get out of bed. There's only one roach this time. Only one. I chuckle a little bit. How fitting it is that this is the last day, and this one is the last roach left. I almost take pity on it, but then I notice it's carrying eggs, and my pity quickly subsides. Once that's taken care of, it's time for dishes. There are more today than usual, but that's fine. I've grown to like doing this in the dishes morning. The stress begins to melt. 6:00am. Only 30 minutes until it's time to "get up". I read a few quick verses out of my now well used Japanese copy of the book of Mormon. I kneel down to pray at 6:28am. And thus ended the morning routine. I'll never be able to do this again. It's funny how the smallest little parts of your day, the parts you once thought were annoying or that you couldn't wait to be done with, you find yourself longing to have just one more chance to do them. Just for the experience. The atmosphere. I look up from my scriptures, out the window I see a pair of gorgeous yellow Saffron Finches. I admire their feathers, watching them play in the grass. Something inside of me longs for them to stay. As if the moment they leave I'll lose the memory of them forever. The birds chirp happily and fly away. I wonder if the other missionaries will ever take the time to notice the birds in the morning. The birds will never know that I noticed them. They'll keep doing what they've always done, and they'll be living happily in Hilo, the same world they were born into, the only place they've ever known, and they'll never have to leave until they die. Part of me envies them. Part of me feels bad for them. Part of me knows it doesn't matter. I snap myself out of it. How long was I sitting there, I wonder? What is time anyway? Why does it matter? I try to convince myself that it's not moving forward. Nothing’s changing. Maybe I'll get transferred to Maui. I've always wanted to go to Maui. I hear there are lots of chameleons there.... I shake my head silently. Time to stop kidding myself. I'm not going to Maui. I'm not staying in Hawaii any longer. This is probably my last real day as a missionary. I close my scriptures, pull out my suitcase, and open it. Suddenly I realize I'm crying. Time to start packing, Elder. Time to start packing.
On July 12, 2019 I realized something that hadn't hit me until just recently. Somehow, between the trials and the miracles, I've actually been here for two years already. What struck me the most I think is that the day itself wasn't some climactic moment or special episode in the show of life like I thought it would be. It wasn't this big conclusive moment for me. At least not at first anyway. At first it was just... weird. In the morning I got an email from my mom. "Congratulations! You've officially done it! You've served the Lord for two years and completed an honorable mission." That was the first time it really sunk in how long I've been gone. Most things that followed that moment are a blur. But I think, somewhere along the trail of miracles and tears, I found myself at the end of the road unexpectedly. Two years. Two years... Two.... Years..... My memories cut in and out as I think back on it all. There is after all, so much to take in. Campbell, Curtis Zeek, Tyler Ramos, Nunn, Orihuela, Alex Coleman, Deadman, Ashby, Lock, Bishop Ho, Maxwell, The Gomes family, The Vickers, baptisms, the greatest six weeks of my life, Taka, Durrant, friendships, drama, whitewashes, Kaneohe, the waterfalls, the rain, Hoke, Bird, Smith, Kaonohi family, England, music, morning dew in the grass as we play ultimate frisbee at 5:45am, doing it for Japan, stickers on the calendar, orange bang with Bro. Hovey, dinner with the Davis family, worry, interviews, one year gone by, leaving Oahu for the first time, York, Atwood, Uncle Kunane on Kauai, home on the dry side, bikes in the sun dried dirt, the bumpiest road, telling stories during finding, kicking logic to the curb, doing the impossible, praying, Blackmore, Johnson, Barbeau, exchanges with Eames, gnats in the sky, gnats in my eye, big storms, P.O. Box mail, 400 days, then 500. 600 days. Back to Oahu to see Elder Klevengot of the seventy, notes and notes, transfer news, Hilo with Brooksby, loving it, Japanese lessons, rain, green, Collins, Pukahi, Bass, making more than memories, building more than testimonies, knowing the love of God, 700 days, LaCorte, Lopez, thoughts of home, Hawaii, trees, more rain, Maui Mike's fire roasted chicken, plate lunches, scriptures that mean something, the Enos Family, Aloha Oe-
... Sorry. I know it's a lot to read. It's a lot to write. But it's how I feel. I'm going to go on a slight tangent for a moment, but it relates so I hope you'll indulge me a bit here. One of my favorite poems is a video essay about California Adventure Park. It talks about the magic of the park and the joy that came from it, as well as the sadness of the changing landscape it now represents-the loss of rides that carried memories worth far more than the price of admission. For my final email of the mission, I thought it was fitting, so I've adapted the words to my own circumstances, and made some slight changes to the meaning, but the spirit of it remains the same.
~ahem, here goes~
A Hui Ho, Hawaii
It's been said that there's a price to pay to live in paradise
Come tomorrow, I'll pack up my white shirts, put on my worn out old suit, and give out my last copies of The Book of Mormon
You've been here since the beginning
Shining bright as the sun that sets beyond the Kekaha shoreline
You've shown me the wonder, and the magic, of the islands of the sea
That quintessential endless summer, that paints the skies blue and the plants green, no matter the season
You took me to Wahiawa, where the cannons and planes train to defend our country, and where the scent of pineapple is fresh in the air
You lead me down the the desert roads of Kapolei, where winter feels like summer, and the sunsets paint the most extravagant pictures in the clouds
You've given me time to reside in the jungle mountains of Kaneohe, where the rain brings concords of waterfalls cascading down the cliff side, and the sapphire ocean crashes against the pure white sand
You flew me to Kauai, where I found home in the dry side, where the melting hot town of Kekaha lives on in my heart, and where the sun sets behind Ni'ihau, the mysterious forbidden island
Finally, you gave me time in Hilo, land of greenery and rain, where the humidity is as thick as the sense of community and kindness that radiates from its people, where the biggest and youngest island has made a garden paradise
You showed me the truth of the Hawaiian Islands
The people of the community that lives in the paradise we choose to vacation in
You showed me the people that make Hawaii what it is
And my mission was supposed to be about just that: The people
The ones who make Hawaii special
The ones who make Hawaii beautiful
The ones who make it unique
But as it turns out, I came to lose myself, for myself
A Hui Ho Hawaii
I worked, I really did
When I found myself in the midst of so many strangers, within the struggles and troubles of those first few months, I adapted, and I survived
I sacrificed pieces of myself, in the name of the greater good
Like the many missionaries who came before me, I sat back, I let go, and I tried stay the same, I tried to stay in the game
I made it for a while
But as time passed by
Hate turned to love
Doubt turned to faith
Hawaii turned to home
And above all, I loved this home
A Hui Ho Hawaii, it's been a thrill
Biking along the bumpy roads of Kekaha, throwing caution into the wind, bearing my testimony and knowing finally that my testimony was my own, as people stopped, and chose at last to listen
Whether I was tracting apartment complexes, taking time to relax on a p day, or being treated to dinner with the members who feel more like family than friends
Companions came and went, kingdoms rose, and kingdoms fell
But here we are, because I stayed
Because you stayed you
Shining bright, like the sun that sets beyond the Kekaha shoreline and rises above the clouded Hilo skies
The symbol of the islands of endless summer
But even on the islands of endless summer
The shadows grow long, and the sun falls down beyond the horizon
Goodnight is goodbye, but I'll never say goodbye to the things you've taught me
The sun of life will rise again
With new opportunities, new people, new places
And maybe some old ones as well
I may be gone, but you are not forgotten
Like all life changing things, your legacy will live on, the me of today will carry your memory through the world of tomorrow
I may have changed some things
But my core is the same
A Hui Ho Hawaii
It's been a blast
You've shown me who I truly was, and you loved me, even when I didn't fit the mold
You told me I could be me, and that I needed to be me
You fixed me
A Hui Ho Hawaii
Yours were the years that gave more than you got
And gained more than you ever dreamed.
So maybe tonight I'll take one last look at the sun that sets beyond the shores of South Point
Maybe I'll talk to a few more people about this Gospel and what it means
Maybe I'll eat a few extra helpings of poi and rice
And maybe I'll think back on you, as the best two years of my life.
Aloha Oe, and take care.
And together my old friend, we've paid in full
Come tomorrow, I'll pack up my white shirts, put on my worn out old suit, and give out my last copies of The Book of Mormon
You've been here since the beginning
Shining bright as the sun that sets beyond the Kekaha shoreline
You've shown me the wonder, and the magic, of the islands of the sea
That quintessential endless summer, that paints the skies blue and the plants green, no matter the season
You took me to Wahiawa, where the cannons and planes train to defend our country, and where the scent of pineapple is fresh in the air
You lead me down the the desert roads of Kapolei, where winter feels like summer, and the sunsets paint the most extravagant pictures in the clouds
You've given me time to reside in the jungle mountains of Kaneohe, where the rain brings concords of waterfalls cascading down the cliff side, and the sapphire ocean crashes against the pure white sand
You flew me to Kauai, where I found home in the dry side, where the melting hot town of Kekaha lives on in my heart, and where the sun sets behind Ni'ihau, the mysterious forbidden island
Finally, you gave me time in Hilo, land of greenery and rain, where the humidity is as thick as the sense of community and kindness that radiates from its people, where the biggest and youngest island has made a garden paradise
You showed me the truth of the Hawaiian Islands
The people of the community that lives in the paradise we choose to vacation in
You showed me the people that make Hawaii what it is
And my mission was supposed to be about just that: The people
The ones who make Hawaii special
The ones who make Hawaii beautiful
The ones who make it unique
But as it turns out, I came to lose myself, for myself
A Hui Ho Hawaii
I worked, I really did
When I found myself in the midst of so many strangers, within the struggles and troubles of those first few months, I adapted, and I survived
I sacrificed pieces of myself, in the name of the greater good
Like the many missionaries who came before me, I sat back, I let go, and I tried stay the same, I tried to stay in the game
I made it for a while
But as time passed by
Hate turned to love
Doubt turned to faith
Hawaii turned to home
And above all, I loved this home
A Hui Ho Hawaii, it's been a thrill
Biking along the bumpy roads of Kekaha, throwing caution into the wind, bearing my testimony and knowing finally that my testimony was my own, as people stopped, and chose at last to listen
Whether I was tracting apartment complexes, taking time to relax on a p day, or being treated to dinner with the members who feel more like family than friends
Companions came and went, kingdoms rose, and kingdoms fell
But here we are, because I stayed
Because you stayed you
Shining bright, like the sun that sets beyond the Kekaha shoreline and rises above the clouded Hilo skies
The symbol of the islands of endless summer
But even on the islands of endless summer
The shadows grow long, and the sun falls down beyond the horizon
Goodnight is goodbye, but I'll never say goodbye to the things you've taught me
The sun of life will rise again
With new opportunities, new people, new places
And maybe some old ones as well
I may be gone, but you are not forgotten
Like all life changing things, your legacy will live on, the me of today will carry your memory through the world of tomorrow
I may have changed some things
But my core is the same
A Hui Ho Hawaii
It's been a blast
You've shown me who I truly was, and you loved me, even when I didn't fit the mold
You told me I could be me, and that I needed to be me
You fixed me
A Hui Ho Hawaii
Yours were the years that gave more than you got
And gained more than you ever dreamed.
So maybe tonight I'll take one last look at the sun that sets beyond the shores of South Point
Maybe I'll talk to a few more people about this Gospel and what it means
Maybe I'll eat a few extra helpings of poi and rice
And maybe I'll think back on you, as the best two years of my life.
Aloha Oe, and take care.
Monday, July 8, 2019
WorldEnd: What Will You Do at the End of the World?
"Blessings and Curses, huh? They're two sides of the same coin. The only difference between them is perspective."
-The Ancient Magus Bride
And just like that, things are starting to look grim for me out here. I can feel my pulse giving way, my body shutting down-Ladies and Gentlemen I'm dying. As time marches on, the world around me takes on a somewhat gloomy color. To be honest, I think it's just that finally it's starting to sink in. This is it. My last week in the Hawaii Honolulu Mission. After this week they'll be no more Palm trees. They'll be no geckos lurking around every corner. They'll be no more plateluches or pidgin to talk in. I'll never again wake up to the sounds of the distant ocean waves crashing along the pristine shoreline or enjoy a true Hawaiian meal. This really is the end of everything then, isn't it? To be honest, it's a bit melancholy. I feel as though I'm loosing a piece of myself, or that my entire world is about to fall to pieces, and in a way, it is. Part of me wants to be selfish and choose everything I do with what little time I have left, but I'm not that naive. I know that it's not my place to pick and choose where we eat everyday or how we spend our time, those choices belong to my companion now, and he's going to be taking over the area soon, so it's important for him to take the lead, moreso now than ever. I know that once this week ends I can't offer him anything. And so, as my final true p day comes to a close on the island of Hawaii, I sit quietly by myself and reflect on my mission. How has it been two years already? Two full years. I still can't even fathom that. The more I think about it the more solemn I feel. I've waited my whole mission to reach the end goal, kind of like reaching the end of a marathon. But now that it's here I kind of wish I could choose to keep running. To be honest, I'm so used to this world of humid paradise I can't even remember what it was like to live in Utah. It's weird to think that even though I'm going home, it feels more like I'm leaving my home now. 23⅓ months ago I got a yellow tie from my trainer, Elder Campbell. The tie had his name on it, and it had written above it his trainer, and his trainer before him, and so on. The tie was to go to whomever I trained, which at this point isn't going to happen because I never trained anyone. That means the "posterity" tie is going to come home with me.
... At least, that's what I WOULD say if it weren't for the fact that I've come up with a new plan.
You see, I've decided that the tie shouldn't come home with me, because I promised my trainer I would give it to my "son". And so, now that the time has come, someone in my district shall be given this tie, to keep and pass down to whomever they train, and thus I will have effectively become The Godfather. If you've never seen those movies by the way, you had better do so immediately. But that's beside the point. This is the final week of missionary service, so this week I'm really going to give it my all. I'm going to be bold, and I'm going to Preach the gospel as well as I possibly can! Next week's email will probably be pretty long, so just be prepped for that.
Until then, Aloha!
And just like that, things are starting to look grim for me out here. I can feel my pulse giving way, my body shutting down-Ladies and Gentlemen I'm dying. As time marches on, the world around me takes on a somewhat gloomy color. To be honest, I think it's just that finally it's starting to sink in. This is it. My last week in the Hawaii Honolulu Mission. After this week they'll be no more Palm trees. They'll be no geckos lurking around every corner. They'll be no more plateluches or pidgin to talk in. I'll never again wake up to the sounds of the distant ocean waves crashing along the pristine shoreline or enjoy a true Hawaiian meal. This really is the end of everything then, isn't it? To be honest, it's a bit melancholy. I feel as though I'm loosing a piece of myself, or that my entire world is about to fall to pieces, and in a way, it is. Part of me wants to be selfish and choose everything I do with what little time I have left, but I'm not that naive. I know that it's not my place to pick and choose where we eat everyday or how we spend our time, those choices belong to my companion now, and he's going to be taking over the area soon, so it's important for him to take the lead, moreso now than ever. I know that once this week ends I can't offer him anything. And so, as my final true p day comes to a close on the island of Hawaii, I sit quietly by myself and reflect on my mission. How has it been two years already? Two full years. I still can't even fathom that. The more I think about it the more solemn I feel. I've waited my whole mission to reach the end goal, kind of like reaching the end of a marathon. But now that it's here I kind of wish I could choose to keep running. To be honest, I'm so used to this world of humid paradise I can't even remember what it was like to live in Utah. It's weird to think that even though I'm going home, it feels more like I'm leaving my home now. 23⅓ months ago I got a yellow tie from my trainer, Elder Campbell. The tie had his name on it, and it had written above it his trainer, and his trainer before him, and so on. The tie was to go to whomever I trained, which at this point isn't going to happen because I never trained anyone. That means the "posterity" tie is going to come home with me.
... At least, that's what I WOULD say if it weren't for the fact that I've come up with a new plan.
You see, I've decided that the tie shouldn't come home with me, because I promised my trainer I would give it to my "son". And so, now that the time has come, someone in my district shall be given this tie, to keep and pass down to whomever they train, and thus I will have effectively become The Godfather. If you've never seen those movies by the way, you had better do so immediately. But that's beside the point. This is the final week of missionary service, so this week I'm really going to give it my all. I'm going to be bold, and I'm going to Preach the gospel as well as I possibly can! Next week's email will probably be pretty long, so just be prepped for that.
Until then, Aloha!
-Elder Rogers
One really cool thing I found this week was the rarest of all the reptiles found on the Hawaiian islands: A snake. Yeah, Hawaii does in fact have snakes, despite what the locals tell you, but these snakes are not your run of the mill garter snakes of Utah or Rat Snakes of Japan. No sir, these are a breed all their own, so let me tell you a bit about a creature you may not have known about before now.
This is in fact not a worm, despite the fact that the two look strikingly similar. Like all serpents, it has a forked tongue which it uses to smell its surroundings and give itself a sense of direction, effectively "tasting the air" around itself to do so. Because it lives primarily underground, the snakes senses of hearing and taste/smell are very strong, as apposed to its eyesight which is extremely poor, hence the name "blind snake" it is the only naturally occurring land snake on Hawaiian Islands, and is beneficial to humans because it eats termites and bug larvae in large quantities. It prefers living in loose and moist soil , such as near potted plant roots and in decaying leaves or near decaying wood. It has two small teeth, and little tiny eyes, and it's face looks like somewhat like a tennis ball when viewed closeup. It's incredibly small and fast, making it tough to find and tougher to catch, but like all snakes it indeed has little scales. I found it while at a service project. We were moving old lumber that was crawling with termite larvae when we discovered what we thought was a worm. The local guy we were doing service for was actually the one who told us that this creature was in fact a snake not a worm. Many locals know about this creature, but don't talk about it due to how small and hard to find it is. But, after some trial and error, I was able to contain it in a small plastic bucket, and show this beauty to the world. It's completely harmless, as it's mouth isn't powerful enough to break human skin, so if by some miracle you happen to find one, it's perfectly safe to handle. Just be careful and wash your hands afterwards, as you would do after handling any reptile or amphibian.
I got a close up of its head from a reptile book so you could see the details my phone camera couldn't pick up. I also included a close up of the scales from the book. If you look really closely you can tell it's the same creature we caught, but I wish I had video of it to show off the forked tongue. With this creature found and pictured, I have come that much closer to documenting almost every species of reptile and amphibian on these islands myself. It's been one heck of a scavenger hunt, but little by little I'm getting there!
One really cool thing I found this week was the rarest of all the reptiles found on the Hawaiian islands: A snake. Yeah, Hawaii does in fact have snakes, despite what the locals tell you, but these snakes are not your run of the mill garter snakes of Utah or Rat Snakes of Japan. No sir, these are a breed all their own, so let me tell you a bit about a creature you may not have known about before now.
This is in fact not a worm, despite the fact that the two look strikingly similar. Like all serpents, it has a forked tongue which it uses to smell its surroundings and give itself a sense of direction, effectively "tasting the air" around itself to do so. Because it lives primarily underground, the snakes senses of hearing and taste/smell are very strong, as apposed to its eyesight which is extremely poor, hence the name "blind snake" it is the only naturally occurring land snake on Hawaiian Islands, and is beneficial to humans because it eats termites and bug larvae in large quantities. It prefers living in loose and moist soil , such as near potted plant roots and in decaying leaves or near decaying wood. It has two small teeth, and little tiny eyes, and it's face looks like somewhat like a tennis ball when viewed closeup. It's incredibly small and fast, making it tough to find and tougher to catch, but like all snakes it indeed has little scales. I found it while at a service project. We were moving old lumber that was crawling with termite larvae when we discovered what we thought was a worm. The local guy we were doing service for was actually the one who told us that this creature was in fact a snake not a worm. Many locals know about this creature, but don't talk about it due to how small and hard to find it is. But, after some trial and error, I was able to contain it in a small plastic bucket, and show this beauty to the world. It's completely harmless, as it's mouth isn't powerful enough to break human skin, so if by some miracle you happen to find one, it's perfectly safe to handle. Just be careful and wash your hands afterwards, as you would do after handling any reptile or amphibian.
I got a close up of its head from a reptile book so you could see the details my phone camera couldn't pick up. I also included a close up of the scales from the book. If you look really closely you can tell it's the same creature we caught, but I wish I had video of it to show off the forked tongue. With this creature found and pictured, I have come that much closer to documenting almost every species of reptile and amphibian on these islands myself. It's been one heck of a scavenger hunt, but little by little I'm getting there!
Monday, July 1, 2019
Death
I have been crazy busy as a district leader, which is a big part of why my emails have been, for lack of a better term, disappointing. But not this time!! This time I'm writing a new email, and it's going to be actually good! And you're going to enjoy reading it! Probably! Hopefully! I dunno... I'm just the scribe man. These things just happen and I record them. But anyways, let's get on with it shall we?
First things first, Eric Chandler is and always will be a great individual. I first met him while I was with Elder Brooksby, and he's super cool! He's been all over the world, and was a student at Tokyo University, yeah you read that right. Tokyo University. That's one of the hardest schools to get into in the world. His Japanese is much better than mine too. Anyway, we did a service project for him once back in March and he seemed pretty happy about it. I bring this person up for a few reasons, the most prominent one being the fact that a week ago we gave him an emergency priesthood blessing while he was in the hospital. This week, we discovered he was still in the hospital. Not only that, but all the procedures the doctors had tried had failed miserably. On Thursday morning, at around 10:50am, we rushed to the hospital to find Brother Chandler on his death bed. Nobody else was there. He was breathing heavily, and it was clear he had buildup in his lungs and throat from the way he was breathing. I'll never be able to forget that sound, it's haunted my dreams each night since this event. He was unable to respond to us, but the nurses informed us that he could hear us. I just sat there and talked to him for a while. We gave him a blessing of comfort, during which I was given the opportunity to instruct him on how to behave during the process of crossing from this life into the spirit world in detail. I won't repeat anything I said at that time, as I hold it sacred, but it was a very interesting and testimony building experience to give that blessing. I couldn't stand watching him suffer like that anymore after we hit the 30 minute mark, and so I said a quick prayer. I asked with all the conviction of my soul that Brother Chandler would not be made to suffer any longer. "If he is to die here" I said "let him die peacefully. I can't bear to watch him suffer anymore. Please come swiftly" Within 5 minutes of that prayer, Brother Chandler began to breath more sporadically, and then, he stopped breathing all together. For another 15 minutes it was just Elder Lopez and I in the room together. Elder Lopez was bawling his eyes out, but the tears wouldn't come to me. I remember being so glad that he wasn't suffering anymore. I was so happy for him. The last words I said to him are burned into my mind and will never leave me, because immediately following my saying them I watched something happen that I had never seen before. Brother Chandler's face changed color, and as it did, I no longer recognized him. I realized immediately that I had just witnessed the moment when a spirit leaves the body. It's a haunting image, and I know I'll never unsee it, but it didn't scare me. I know where Brother Chandler is right now, and I know that the plan of salvation is a real thing, and that his spirit lives. He's in more joy right now than we could ever know. And in case you were wondering what I said to him that day, I'll leave it here for you. The last words Brother Chandler heard before his spirit passed through the veil, were these:
"You have lived a full life. And you can be proud of it."
This wasn't the hard part. I wasn't crying over it, surprisingly. The part of this whole experience that truly hurt to witness, was the part when his best friend, a Japanese man named Takeo and his daughter, ran through the door to see him just 5 minutes after he was pronounced dead. Takeo just sat down and was quiet for a moment, while Sandra tried to write down our number so she could keep in contact with us in the days that followed. Half way through writing our contact information down, the little pen and paper clattered to the floor. It was such a sudden change it almost made me jump. "I... I'm sorry. We were waiting in the parking lot... It was full... They told us... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Takeo." Sandra collapsed onto Takeo and wrapped her arms around him as she began to wail. All my life, I've seen people cry like this on TV, or movies, maybe games...you know. This was the first time I had ever seen it- like honestly seen and heard someone who had just lost all hope cry their eyes out. Takeo didn't say anything. He sat there, motionless, in shock most likely, just sort of trembling while Sandra clung to him.
I'm not going to talk about the rest of that experience, because I can still picture it really clearly and I'd rather not talk about it to be honest. I don't think it really hit me until we got back to the apartment and I just sort of collapsed from the collective exhaustion and stress. I didn't really have time to recover from that experience because I'm still the DL and I'm still busy, so the whole thing is still burning in the back of my mind and and it's made the rest of my week that much harder to deal with. Immediately following that experience I had Zone Leader exchanges. That was extremely stressful and probably one of the longest days of my life. It wasn't even really Elder Collins' fault either, I love that guy, it's just one tiny little problem that ruined the whole experience: Cynophobia. In other words, the crippling fear of dogs. In case you didn't know, I cannot stand dogs and I'm absolutely terrified of them. I don't even know why either, I just can't handle dogs 95% of the time. It's definitely gotten a lot more manageable and I can be around most domestic and well kept dogs at this point but it's definitely a struggle of mine. Now, the zone leaders area is famous for having an insane amount of dogs in it, something I wish I had known before I went into this whole experience in the first place. One of the houses we visited that day is famous among the neighborhood for having 60 dogs. Yes. You read it correctly. 60. Freaking. Dogs. No bueno if you catch my drift. In the words of Elder Collins "This is probably the worst place on planet earth for you to be at huh? Sorry bro" My heart rate accelerated exponentially, and my nightmares have since been a mixture of dogs everywhere and a dead man in a hospital room. The 60 dog house (it was probably more like 45 or 40 dogs but the whole neighborhood says 60 so it's kinda just known for it) was definitely not my favorite experience in the world, and by the end of it I was just wishing I could call Don Resetti in to do my job for me because man my blood pressure has got to be through the roof by now. No time for rest though! After that incredibly busy day we had a back to back exchange with Elder Tulimau from Honomu, which would have been a great recovery day, except we were doing yard work all day as everyone ever absolutely needed us to come help them out at the same time. We ended up setting up an entire party even from 10:00am to 3:00pm, removing vines from trees in the midst of a centipede infested jungle from 3:00 to 4:30, and then skipping dinner entirely to make time to clean up Takeo's yard for him because he's old, his best friend just died this week, and he's too greif stricken to do the yard himself, which is totally understandable and I was happy to help, it's just funny that my "recovery day" ended up being a more tiring experience than the previous days. Forget "one of those days" folks, it's just been "one of those weeks." Anyway, so after that day came and went I wound up back with my own companion who is really only my companion like half the time: Elder Lopez.
The new person we found last week, Nicole, is progressing pretty well. She came to church last week and that was cool.
That's about it for now. I don't really know what else to talk about, and I'm behind on writing comp reports and getting numbers so I'm just going to go back to doing that now and hopefully I won't be late for the meeting tonight again because I really can't have another 30 minute discussion on the importance of being on time. Aloha!
Until next week,
ELDER CADEN ROGERS OVER AND OUT
We went to a free zoo today for our pday activity.
The milk we bought today expires the day I fly home!
First things first, Eric Chandler is and always will be a great individual. I first met him while I was with Elder Brooksby, and he's super cool! He's been all over the world, and was a student at Tokyo University, yeah you read that right. Tokyo University. That's one of the hardest schools to get into in the world. His Japanese is much better than mine too. Anyway, we did a service project for him once back in March and he seemed pretty happy about it. I bring this person up for a few reasons, the most prominent one being the fact that a week ago we gave him an emergency priesthood blessing while he was in the hospital. This week, we discovered he was still in the hospital. Not only that, but all the procedures the doctors had tried had failed miserably. On Thursday morning, at around 10:50am, we rushed to the hospital to find Brother Chandler on his death bed. Nobody else was there. He was breathing heavily, and it was clear he had buildup in his lungs and throat from the way he was breathing. I'll never be able to forget that sound, it's haunted my dreams each night since this event. He was unable to respond to us, but the nurses informed us that he could hear us. I just sat there and talked to him for a while. We gave him a blessing of comfort, during which I was given the opportunity to instruct him on how to behave during the process of crossing from this life into the spirit world in detail. I won't repeat anything I said at that time, as I hold it sacred, but it was a very interesting and testimony building experience to give that blessing. I couldn't stand watching him suffer like that anymore after we hit the 30 minute mark, and so I said a quick prayer. I asked with all the conviction of my soul that Brother Chandler would not be made to suffer any longer. "If he is to die here" I said "let him die peacefully. I can't bear to watch him suffer anymore. Please come swiftly" Within 5 minutes of that prayer, Brother Chandler began to breath more sporadically, and then, he stopped breathing all together. For another 15 minutes it was just Elder Lopez and I in the room together. Elder Lopez was bawling his eyes out, but the tears wouldn't come to me. I remember being so glad that he wasn't suffering anymore. I was so happy for him. The last words I said to him are burned into my mind and will never leave me, because immediately following my saying them I watched something happen that I had never seen before. Brother Chandler's face changed color, and as it did, I no longer recognized him. I realized immediately that I had just witnessed the moment when a spirit leaves the body. It's a haunting image, and I know I'll never unsee it, but it didn't scare me. I know where Brother Chandler is right now, and I know that the plan of salvation is a real thing, and that his spirit lives. He's in more joy right now than we could ever know. And in case you were wondering what I said to him that day, I'll leave it here for you. The last words Brother Chandler heard before his spirit passed through the veil, were these:
"You have lived a full life. And you can be proud of it."
This wasn't the hard part. I wasn't crying over it, surprisingly. The part of this whole experience that truly hurt to witness, was the part when his best friend, a Japanese man named Takeo and his daughter, ran through the door to see him just 5 minutes after he was pronounced dead. Takeo just sat down and was quiet for a moment, while Sandra tried to write down our number so she could keep in contact with us in the days that followed. Half way through writing our contact information down, the little pen and paper clattered to the floor. It was such a sudden change it almost made me jump. "I... I'm sorry. We were waiting in the parking lot... It was full... They told us... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Takeo." Sandra collapsed onto Takeo and wrapped her arms around him as she began to wail. All my life, I've seen people cry like this on TV, or movies, maybe games...you know. This was the first time I had ever seen it- like honestly seen and heard someone who had just lost all hope cry their eyes out. Takeo didn't say anything. He sat there, motionless, in shock most likely, just sort of trembling while Sandra clung to him.
I'm not going to talk about the rest of that experience, because I can still picture it really clearly and I'd rather not talk about it to be honest. I don't think it really hit me until we got back to the apartment and I just sort of collapsed from the collective exhaustion and stress. I didn't really have time to recover from that experience because I'm still the DL and I'm still busy, so the whole thing is still burning in the back of my mind and and it's made the rest of my week that much harder to deal with. Immediately following that experience I had Zone Leader exchanges. That was extremely stressful and probably one of the longest days of my life. It wasn't even really Elder Collins' fault either, I love that guy, it's just one tiny little problem that ruined the whole experience: Cynophobia. In other words, the crippling fear of dogs. In case you didn't know, I cannot stand dogs and I'm absolutely terrified of them. I don't even know why either, I just can't handle dogs 95% of the time. It's definitely gotten a lot more manageable and I can be around most domestic and well kept dogs at this point but it's definitely a struggle of mine. Now, the zone leaders area is famous for having an insane amount of dogs in it, something I wish I had known before I went into this whole experience in the first place. One of the houses we visited that day is famous among the neighborhood for having 60 dogs. Yes. You read it correctly. 60. Freaking. Dogs. No bueno if you catch my drift. In the words of Elder Collins "This is probably the worst place on planet earth for you to be at huh? Sorry bro" My heart rate accelerated exponentially, and my nightmares have since been a mixture of dogs everywhere and a dead man in a hospital room. The 60 dog house (it was probably more like 45 or 40 dogs but the whole neighborhood says 60 so it's kinda just known for it) was definitely not my favorite experience in the world, and by the end of it I was just wishing I could call Don Resetti in to do my job for me because man my blood pressure has got to be through the roof by now. No time for rest though! After that incredibly busy day we had a back to back exchange with Elder Tulimau from Honomu, which would have been a great recovery day, except we were doing yard work all day as everyone ever absolutely needed us to come help them out at the same time. We ended up setting up an entire party even from 10:00am to 3:00pm, removing vines from trees in the midst of a centipede infested jungle from 3:00 to 4:30, and then skipping dinner entirely to make time to clean up Takeo's yard for him because he's old, his best friend just died this week, and he's too greif stricken to do the yard himself, which is totally understandable and I was happy to help, it's just funny that my "recovery day" ended up being a more tiring experience than the previous days. Forget "one of those days" folks, it's just been "one of those weeks." Anyway, so after that day came and went I wound up back with my own companion who is really only my companion like half the time: Elder Lopez.
The new person we found last week, Nicole, is progressing pretty well. She came to church last week and that was cool.
That's about it for now. I don't really know what else to talk about, and I'm behind on writing comp reports and getting numbers so I'm just going to go back to doing that now and hopefully I won't be late for the meeting tonight again because I really can't have another 30 minute discussion on the importance of being on time. Aloha!
Until next week,
ELDER CADEN ROGERS OVER AND OUT
We went to a free zoo today for our pday activity.
Pictures: The gang deciding what to go see next. From left to right: Elder Bass, Sister Fife, Elder Lopez, and like half of Elder Hollist.
Elder Bass taking his seat in the flower chair.
Tengu lizard, scarlet macaw, tiny faces on tiny monkeys, tiger, and perhaps the most rare and bizarre creature of all!
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