War is Hell

And it should be a cuss word too.

I hate cockroaches.

Sorry about how late this weeks email is you guys. This week was an uphill battle. As what will probably be my last transfer in Kaneohe comes to a long winded close, I look at the bright side. At the very least wherever I go next won't have roaches. I hope. Please don't have roaches. (please) That said, transfer news is this Saturday, so maybe I'll stay and maybe I won't, but from what I can tell this may be the moment when I ~finally~ get to leave the island. If I could pick any island to go to, I think I would like Maui. Maui has less wild dogs than big island or Kauai, and its more populated too. That's why I think it might be a good fit for me. But that said, you never really know. I might just wind up staying here, in the most amazing place on Oahu, even longer. Not that I would mind, as getting to spend the holidays with this ward that I have gotten to know so well would be a great opportunity for me, but still. President Bekker asked me the other day if a change of scenery would be nice, I said I'd miss this place, but that I was ready to move on if need be. I don't get to pick of course, and I'll go wherever I need to go, but that said, if I had to compare it to a video game, I have memorized the map and am ready for the expansion pack.

As for my dear companion, he's been making life a bit more difficult for me as of late. It's really hard because I have really tried to show him that I love him (no homo) and want to be good friends with him, but all he ever seems to want to talk about is how much he dislikes the area and wishes he was back on big island where he can go fishing again. I understand that feeling of longing, but I wish he would try to open up to the people here a bit more, because I love these people a lot, and I'd like it if he could see that, or develop a greater love for them himself. I tell you this not to vent about him or make you think less of him, I just think a few extra prayers to soften his heart to this area could do him some good, so please keep that in mind.

Now then. The main attraction. Kind of.

This week, for as much of a challenge as it was, for a number of reasons, it had a moment I will never forget. I've wanted to be able to teach in Japanese for a long time now. I've had opportunities before, but this week, I had a miracle. One of the members in our ward, Sister Jin Bo of South Korea, found out I could speak Japanese. And therefore asked us to teach her work friend from Osaka, who was curious about the church. Her name was Maiko and we ended up teaching the restoration. That morning I had had the prompting to study the restoration in Japanese, and of course I spent over 2 hours on it, not having a clue why, but studying like it was life or death. She had so many questions, but her English wasn't advanced enough yet to understand the church vocabulary. So when she got confused about something, she looked to me and I translated for her. It was surprisingly easy to explain things to her that way. So Elder Hoke taught and I helped out when explanation was needed. The most amazing feeling of accomplishment came over me when I spoke to her. And she was so surprised when I said that God had a body and looked like us. She had never heard of such a concept before, and found it comforting. When we were done, she asked how she could know it was true, and I told her that all she had to do was pray. She invited us back, and this Saturday I will do my best to teach the plan of salvation to her in full Japanese. Please pray for me so that I can have the spirit with me during this Saturdays lesson, because teaching is much harder than regular conversation, and despite studying extra hard, I know I still need all the help I can get. That said, this was an incredible experience, and I'm very glad that all that studying did something. To me, this lesson mattered. It was because of what I said that she was able to understand that she was a daughter of God. That is such a simple concept, but I finally feel like I was useful in a unique way.

Finally we come to the elephant in the room. I'm sorry, did I say elephant? I meant roach. Evil, monstrous roach. Now fun fact about roaches, they're like rabbits. Or, if you prefer, very very active people with limitless patience and pain tolerance. They never stop having kids it seems. The eggs of a roach take two weeks to hatch, and it was Elder Hoke's bag that brought the vile creatures here from big island. A while ago, mom sent me a stockpile of roach traps, bait, and killer. I've waited to use it until now, but yesterday he left his unfinished soup on the table, and when I got up to use the bathroom in the night and turned the kitchen light on, it was like every roach in the whole neighborhood showed up to party at the soup kitchen. Science may never fully understand the amount of things that built up inside of me in that moment. Perhaps it was midnight fatigue. Perhaps it was anger at my companion for not cleaning his darn soup up. Or maybe I just hate roaches that much, but whatever the cause may be, something, somewhere, snapped in me that night. I looked at the tiny faces of evil that tormented me so, and I decided that it was time to get some of my pent up frustration and stress out of my system. Those tiny terrorists picked the wrong wimpy white boy to mess with. I may be a Rogers, but roaches will NOT be my neighbor. You trespassin' my hood roaches, now we gon' throw DOWN.

I got the bait, and it was in every crevice, every place I saw movement, every tiny black speck with antenna, bam. I emptied a full bottle in there. I wasn't sure if it was necessary to wear the gas mask, but I wasn't taking chances, so I struck down my tiny oppressors with unparalleled rage and aggression. I have declared war, so we shall see if they return tonight. If so, I have much more where that came from. It felt good to be the Hulk for once.

Anyway, Happy Halloween everybody!
Until next week!

Also this gecko was in Maiko's house. She said I could take a picture. Apparently he has lived with her for almost a month now just on his own accord. She leaves fruit out for him sometimes and he licks the juices up apparently. 

Could it be-?!

This week was a real trip. I found out the Funimation and Crunchyroll relationship is ending, and I guess my mission has improved my patience overall, because I was able to (mostly) contain my overwhelming sadness regarding this monumental crisis. It's okay, I'll get over it, but let it be known that I'm taking this break up very hard. And also, for those of you who have no clue what I'm talking about, don't try to look it up or make it a priority to figure out what the heck any of this means. As Gandhi once said:

"Well you'll probably figure it out sometime"

(I'm paraphrasing of course)

Anyway, the big thing I have discovered is that I have yet to talk about Elder Hoke a whole lot. I didn't realize it though, I figured I already told you all everything. Well, I guess I didn't, so here goes nothing-

WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU TO EXCITING NEWS!!! IT'S FINALLY HERE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!! THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!

That's right folks, it's time for the one, the only, the two weeks late Simulcast of...
THE OCTOBER 2018 SATURDAY GENERAL CONFERENCE ABRIDGED!!!!

In the words of the great Koro Sensei-"Let's get started shall we?"

Well, another General Conference has come and gone, and at this point I'm sure you all know what this means it's time for, the unedited, uncensored, unlovable abridged version, in which I watched everything to give you just the highlights! The opening act seemed to be the prayer itself, which honestly went on for forever. Clearly someone was salty about not being asked to give a talk, Look, Steve, we get it. You wanted to give a talk. We all do deep down(?), but it's not your turn so please try to be patient ok? We aren't here for you after all, we're here for President Nelson who addressed us first, and with a bit of a quiver in his voice it appeared he was nervous about something. What was this big monumental change that was to change the course of Sunday? All of us sat in quiet anticipation as he prepped us for the monumental, the incredible, the earth shattering news that was to come, before essentially handing the announcement over to Elder Cook instead. Contrary to popular belief, his talks rarely have anything to do with the culinary arts. No, that would be Elder Ramsay, of the seventy (probably. If there is one. I hope there is one) In a word for word reenactment, Elder Cook's address went something like this:

Elder Cook: *taps microphone* "OK, thanks president for leaving the announcing to me. (under his breath: if people hate me for this announcement I'm blaming it on you) Okay guys, you can all hear me.... OK..." *clears throat*

"starting next year church is only gonna be 2 hours"

-The choir then favored us with a medley of ode to joy and hallelujah-

Unfortunately folks the remainder of Elder Cook's talk may be lost to history for all eternity, as such a gigantic celebratory cheer from the audience erupted that nobody really bothered to listen to the rest of it. Even the dude writing the talks down stopped to join the party. When we finally regained our senses Steven R. Bangerter gave a talk on burying rocks to study a gospel centered foundation. It was a great talk despite the accusations of many, considering it to be highway robbery. It's awful how a name can build such a reputation.... Moving on, we got high on some mountains for a while with the choir, and then Elder Rasband gave an incredibly interesting and important talk by bringing to the table a comprehensive guide to Nekomonogatari Shiro! Made even more impressive by the inclusion of bamboo in the flower arrangements this time.

~SMART JOKE!!!!!~

In all seriousness it wasn't exactly 100% about anxiety specifically, but the topic of fear and worry is incredibly similar, with the core message being overcoming fear and life's obstacles. David A. Bednar talked about multiple strands of string winding together to create powerful and strong ropes. He also seemed to be at the end of his own personal rope when he cautioned us to not try to read too deeply into the changes. I'm willing to bet at least 2¢ that his inbox has been flooded recently about that. Speaking of full inboxes, Dallin H. Oaks threw caution to the wind and called out transgender people of the world, in a very true but also very blunt talk that leads me to believe his inbox is about to be full too. Hopefully the social justice warriors weren't paying attention. As the sun climbed higher in the sky, the afternoon session came to a start. With so much great news having already befallen us, everyone watched eagerly, wondering what could possibly happen next. Aside from the choir.... Which seemed to be.... Green. Yes, they appear to be bright neon green! Scientists have yet to explain why this is happening, but it's believed that the MTC has something to do with it... As D. Todd Christofferson made his way to the stand, we all prepped for something amazing!

"In old testament history..."

Alright, moving on, next we heard from Dean M. Davies who gave us the temple building equivalent of Shirobako. (aka: how it's made temple edition feat. President Hinckley) After the Dean was done, we had a brief word from our sponsor, National Geographic.

"Today's program is on the amazing Amazon River, and it's effects on the world at large"

In all seriousness he said the river had fresh water if you recall, but then they showed a picture and I don't know about you, but that did not look fresh to me at all. That river was just about the most dark, murky, polluted looking river I've ever seen. I know that's not the point of the talk but honestly just look at it!

Finally, Elder Uchtdorf gave us the reason why it isn't called shepherding. It wasn't because shepherding is a weird fake word. It wasn't because ministering sounds more like a catholic or Jehovah's Witness program. No, it's simply because if it was shepherding Elder Uchtdorf would technically be called a German shepherd.

OK, I laughed.

And that's all for the Saturday Edition. Be on the lookout for the Sunday session! Coming when you least expect it!

Anyway, I was going to talk about Elder Hoke. He's from Washington state, but according to him he isn't from the "pretty" side. I guess it's like Hawaii with the rainy side and the butt ugly dead and empty side. Also know as the "right" side and the "wrong" side. Sorry, I meant Leeward and Windward. Anyway, he's a very tall man. And he likes to wear cheese-it print shorts. Much like Elder England, he was transferred here from the big island. Unlike Elder England, he absolutely hates this area and wanted to stay where he was. I've attempted several times now to find out why this is, as to me Kaneohe is the best there is, but I've yet to get a real response out of him. We get along well though, and I think he is a great person, it's just a bit tough to work with him because he doesn't really want to be here very much. He's starting to open up to the ward and area a little bit though. That's nice. I'm trying to share my love for this people and this area with him like my trainer did for me when I was feeling homesick. He'll be alright. This week I went on exchanges with Elder Hayes, who is a Zone Leader now. (weird considering he came out after me) We're still best friends, he and I, and I can't say that it will be easy to be without him again. He's followed me everywhere though. Mililani, Makakilo, and now here, so I'm pretty sure that I'll eventually see him again after this area. While we were together I put that gas mask to good use. Mold had built up on the base boards and it was making us sick, so I donned the gas mask and cleaned it all up. Our pad is now spotless, and you'll be happy to hear that the gas mask worked perfectly. It was a wonderful experience. It even cleared out my stuffy nose with-in seconds of putting it on. I'm not sure how it did that, but it works every time. It totally filtered the air, and made me sound like one of those yellow hazmat guys from Monsters Inc whenever I said anything. It's awesome. I love it.

In other news, this week was the Halloween party in the ward. I was a secret agent disguised as a missionary. Nobody even figured it out, so I'd say the costume was a success. The young men put up a spook alley in the overflow, which was awesome! And everybody set up their own little booths. (Not to get super self absorbed or anything, but I saw a few people dressed up as Gary Randal. Aka Grim Reapers) There were also a lot of Gravity Falls costumes, which was awesome! It was a great time overall, and I was really excited to be a part of it. Oh, and we finally got a picture of the hot tub. The stupid, busted hot tub which still looks exactly the same. But it is a picture, so yay!!!!

Quote of the Week:
"I don't know everything, I just know what I know"
-Tsubasa Hanekawa, 化物語

Pictures: #1  A rare picture of Elder Hoke in his natural habitat I took this morning.  He gets very tired, and so do I, but he can actually sleep longer somehow and I find it very amusing.  (He's been out 18 months, usually by now your body adjusts to the time schedule and it becomes physically impossible to oversleep.)  

#2 The stupid hot tub

#3-4 Me in my awesome gas mask doing some cleaning

#5-6 Mosquitos are of the devil around here.

#7 Ice cream is expensive

Boy, Can I Tell You A Wonderful Thing?

What a week. For the first time in a long time there were so many miracles happening that I'm not even sure where to begin. But before I get into how good it's been on my end, I'd like to make a humble request. A great friend of mine named KJ Sorensen is serving her mission in Zimbabwe, Africa right now. Her mission has been incredibly hard, and recently it was made even harder by the fact that her father back home has been diagnosed with cancer. Please keep the Sorensen family in your fasts and prayers. Thank you.

Anyway, this week man! It's been a long time since I have had a week as wonderful and rewarding as I did this week. Solomon's kids: Solomon Jr., Sebastián, and Spencer, were baptized by their uncle Aaron yesterday and 9:30am. It was absolutely incredible to be able to witness this great event, and I'm always going to be grateful to the Lord for allowing me to a part of it. What made this whole ordeal kind of entertaining was the sheer size of these kids, because holy crap are they big Polynesian kids! As you will see in the pictures, I look incredibly tiny in comparison to them. I'm so happy for their family because of the great blessing their baptism has been. I've seen them come closer together as a family, and hopefully their mother will get baptized soon as well, and then they can be sealed together as a family for time and all eternity. It's been an honor to serve them and teach them, and I'll be sure to keep you updated on how the after baptism lessons go. For all the wonderful things I feel because of this baptism, there's one problem with it. I absolutely DESPISE the process of filling out the baptismal record. Now, I know what you're thinking right about now, "But Elder Caden! You need to suck it up! It's just writing names on a paper! How bad could that possibly be?" No, OK? You ain't ever had to spell a Hawaiian name like this before ok? It wouldn't even be so bad, but there are 3 of these kids, and this is the shortest name among them.

Do you know how many times I've misspelled this name alone? It was a lot of times ok? And then, after I finally got it right I realized that the last name comes first. So I had to start all over again. And THEN I made yet another ground breaking discovery. The date was supposed to be written "day/month/year" not "month/day/year" like I wrote it. In an incredibly frustrating process, I ended up spending way too much of my day doing this dang thing. You can't even begin to understand how much of a headache this was. However, it was a headache caused by the best of things, and I'm still grateful to have been able to do it in the first place. If what happened on Sunday is any indication, it won't be the last baptismal record I get to make this transfer. In fact my current goal is to have 2 more baptisms on November 3rd, which is right before the end of the transfer, so I'm finishing strong here guys! One of these two is Kalei Kaonohi, who is the Solomon kids' mom. (Their last name is Kaonohi by the way- I just say Solomon because auto correct doesn't screw me over when I type Solomon.)The other is Gena, who is still on track for a November 3rd baptism! You may remember her from a while ago, but even if you don't, fear not. You can definitely expect to hear more about her in the coming weeks.

National Geographic: WILD!
The last thing I want to say is that last p day we went fishing and I caught this really weird, awesome looking creature. At first I thought it was a rope under the water, but then I saw it had weird tentacle things, so I used a bunch of methods to try and grab it without actually touching it, because apparently it's some kind of sea cucumber and sea urchin hybrid. That's what the local guy fishing with us said anyway. That was the only thing any of us caught the whole trip. It wasn't exactly edible, so I released it and we had McDonald's for lunch, but I was super proud of myself because I was the only one who didn't want to go fishing out of the group, and I was also the only one who didn't have a pole, so I used an empty Tupperware that we brought to put our caught fish in as a sort of net and scooped it up. It was surprisingly agile for a weird blood worm thing. Anyway, like I was saying, I was the only one who didn't want to go fishing and I was also the only one who caught anything or had any fun. I thought that was funny. I felt like Coyote Peterson or something from Beyond The Tide. It was totally cool.

Anyway, I hope you all have a fantastic week! Be brave. Stay wild. I'll see you on the next adventure!

 

Getting Revenge on a Peacock Could Land You in Jail (true story)

Can you guys spell SLOW WEEK? Because I sure can. Holy crap was this a snore fest, but somehow, amidst the lack of any kind of success it somehow managed to be even more stressful this week, and I'm not even remotely sure why that is. OK I kind of am, but the cause is irrelevant and it can't be helped, so there's no point in addressing it. More stress induced headaches, less sleep, and more sweating off the extra helpings of Kalua Pig and barbecue mix plate. I mean, I suppose it wasn't all bad, because there was conference, but that didn't exactly do wonders in regards to the sleep issue so I'm not sure it counts. The baptisms are nearly upon us, and I assume next week's email will be significantly more interesting that this one was. Honestly the only thing of interest I have for you this week is the downright crazy story that a member told us at a dinner appointment. I'm just going to directly copy the adventure he told me and Elder Hoke, and I hope my presentation can do it justice because as I'm sure the title suggests, this is going to be a very strange story for you.

Apparently, killing a Peacock is highly illegal. An old Hawaiian lady found that out first hand a while back. As I was informed, the lady was old and tired, and some sort of bird was squawking like crazy outside her home, preventing her from getting her much needed slumber. The culprit was a small flock of peacocks which had taken a liking to the parking lot outside of her apartment complex. After a great many sleepless nights in her apartment, this old Hawaiian lady finally snapped. Grabbing an aluminum baseball bat and making her way outside, the lady planned to teach those noisy peacocks a lesson and return peacefully to the nice nap she had always wanted. She was unable to capture her colorful target at first, but she did make a surprise discovery. As it turned out, chasing the birds away with a bat was a great way to get some exercise and release the pent up anger and stress. To her dismay though, several days into the routine one of the peacocks refused to run despite her advances, and to her horror the Peacock in question proceeded to defecate in the barbecue grill instead of running. In a fit of rage, the old woman surprised herself and the bird by grabbing it by the neck and attempting to take a crack at it with the bat. She had a hard time at first it seems, and the bat was unable to strike the bird on the first 3 swings, but finally it collided with the bird, killing it in one crack to the head. When police arrived in the scene, the woman was attempting to find a way to cook the peacock, and her intent was to eat it before finally getting some rest. The case made it to court, and as far as Michael (the member who told us the story) was aware, she now resides in jail. The story made news all over the island, but the moral is quite clear: never mess with a Hawaiian auntie.

That would be all for my report this week, but as luck would have it, I do have one final announcement for you. As I'm sure you recall, back in April, Elder Durrant and I were working very closely with an investigator named Amelia. You may also recall that the story ended in a lot of tears and it seemed like it had all been for naught. However, today I have for you all an epilogue for this tale, and that doesn't happen a lot for missionaries, so consider this a lucky miracle. Yesterday, I learned that Amelia continued her spiritual journey after the end of our time with her, and is going to be baptized on October 19th in the far away land of Colorado. This news was a miracle for me. I am very grateful to have been able to be a part of her journey to be closer to the Savior, and on top of that it's great to finally have a conclusion to what was previously an open ended story. This just goes to show that no effort is wasted. Every try is noted, important, and most importantly, it's not forgotten-  even if it feels like it sometimes. It's nice to know that I was able to help her get closer to Christ in some small way, and that she was able to take the next step.

On that happy note, I hope you all have a great week. Until next Monday everyone!

Stanger Things

Well, as per typical pattern at this point, I find myself yet again in the unenviable position of taking over the area. It has been a very long 5 days since this Rogers takeover began, and in light of the fact that the pad is no longer on fire and the small army of roaches living in the walls as of 3 days ago is dealt with for now, we come to the end of our week and I find myself with time to email home. Somehow, despite the many many times my efforts have come up short this week, I'm still alive. Key word is: "somehow". It's now officially October, and as October is a time for scary stories, I figured this week I'd treat you all to the absolutely terrifying scary story of that big stupid hot tub, because believe me, it was one heck of a nightmare.

Our story begins on Saturday morning, as I desperately tried to find something to fill the time with. Days like these are called "Snow Days" in selective missionary terminology, because on a Snow Day the pages of your daily planner are blank, and by extension, white as snow. Luckily, before I underwent a complete nervous breakdown trying to decide what to do, Elder Hoke (designated phone carrier for the time being) received a call from a member in the ward named Shawn. He was calling because his ministering family needed help moving an entire hot tub from Kailua to Kaneohe, and this thing was supposedly an 800 lbs heavy, 8x8 foot jacuzzi, so clearly he needed all the help he could get when it came to actually moving the thing. This call saved my Saturday, and I figured it would take a decent enough chunk of time out of the day that by the time it was over with, I'd know what to do with the rest of the day. So we met up with Shawn at the chapel, hopped aboard his trusty white Tacoma, and rode the majestic vessel all the way down to Kailua to pick up the pool. On the way there Shawn let us in on the reason we were doing this, which is explained via image 'A1' below. (now is when you take a moment to appreciate my epic scribbles)

So basically, the idea was that the Stangers really needed that hot tub, or more accurately, that SISTER Stanger really needed it to soak in. After looking around online for one they discovered that hot tubs in Hawaii are not a cheap commodity, and that's when they took to Craigslist. The next miraculous development was that-Surprise!-somebody in Kailua had one that they no longer wanted and couldn't sell it anywhere. Eventually the Kailua Clan (which is how I'm going to refer to them from here on out) decided that if they couldn't get somebody to pay them to take the hot tub out of their yard, they'd give it away free to anybody who was willing to show up and move the darn thing. The point here is that the Kailua Clan wanted it gone, and Sis. Stanger wanted it in her yard. Therefor, a deal was made to mutually benefit both parties. Now I don't know about you, but I don't know that I would just give away a hot tub for free unless I was reeeeeeallly sick of having it around. And most likely, that meant that this thing was either incredibly ugly, or incredibly useless, so I became a bit nervous that this service project was going to take up a bit more time than I thought. Snow Day though, so who cares. Anyway, we arrived in our trusty white steed, and found the Stangers, who were already there trying to find some plywood. Why? I had no idea, but I would soon come to find out all too well. The free hot tub itself was actually in pretty ok condition, or at least you would think that just from taking a quick look at it, but it had no cover, so the inside was full of this weird brown liquid. I was about 70% sure that it had its own ecosystem living in it, but after clearing it out by filling red solo cups and dumping them out (like how you'd bail in a boat or raft), we eventually had no murky brown water left inside the jacuzzi, and had found no signs of life in the process, so I decided my hypothesis was in fact, wrong. Now that we had an empty old jacuzzi we were told by the Kailua crew, who had extremely thick Indian accents by the way, that the reason they never used it was because the mother was broken. That seemed like all it was to be honest, but oh.... oh boy.... things went downhill from there. Together, all who were to be involved in the process of moving the massive hot tub decided on a plan, which is shown below in image 1b.
    
Now then, in the aftermath of planning this event out, we all set forth immediately into action to get this thing moving. The first step was to cut the power wire connecting the hot tub itself to the actual power supply. From what I remember the potential danger was 200 volts, which was why the Kailua Crew told us the power was off before we began attempting to sever the cord. Minute after painful minute the rest of us sat in utter suspense as Bro. Stanger senior tried to use a Boy Scout pocket knife to Cut the Rope (reference intended). At this point allow me to introduce our squad. And by squad, I mean, well this:

After a grand total of 5 minutes, Senior Stanger decided the scouting knife was useless and instead bit the cord, which worked surprisingly quickly. After the first challenge had been conquered, the entire crew proceeded to push the stupid hot tub off of the ground onto its side, where it landed on top of the dolleys which were in turn, on top of the plywood. Señor Stanger then asked for two volunteers to move the plywood along with the jacuzzi as it made its grand journey from the back yard to the trailer. This was a very long process, and after about 30 minutes of moving a full size hot tub aboard the dolleys, we began to notice that the hot tub was falling apart. The dang thing was rotted almost completely through, and by the time it made its oversize way to the undersized trailer, there wasn't a single piece of exterior left on 3 of the 4 sides. All the rotted wood seemed to break off at random intervals, and the entire frame broke into pieces when we placed it on the trailer. All of this ended up taking 2½ hours. And that's just the first half of this story, because if you do a quick Google maps search on the distance between Kailua, Oahu and Kaneohe, Oahu you will discover that this thing, which could barely balance and practically had no structure left to speak of, had to then ride up and down the uneven and bumpy highway until arriving at the Stangers actual house. Unfortunately, RM Stanger drove a little too fast, and the result of this haste making was that pieces of this rotted pile of trash kept flying off onto the road, and the entire jacuzzi tilted to the point where it looked like it was going to fall off the tiny trailer! Miraculously, thanks in no small part to the Elder Hoke, Shawn, and myself all praying aloud the entire 30 minute drive that the crippled old pool would somehow survive its journey to its new home, we arrived while the hot tub still had at least one beam of frame left on it. You wouldn't believe how screwed up it looked, and honestly with the amount of fixing they were going to have to do, it clearly would have been cheaper and easier just to buy a new one, but I refrained from telling any of the Stangers that, because we were already 4 hours into this project and we would all sooner be damned for eternity than give up the fight when the hot tub was just 150 feet from its final goal. Unfortunately the next obstacle was the monumental toast of getting the rotted remains of this stupid jacuzzi through the gate that separated the front yard from the back yard, and the dolleys added enough height that the tub could no longer fit. Here's image 2C to explain what I mean.

What to do next stumped our little crew for a while, but after a short water break we returned to the rotting beast, determined to somehow, by might or by mind, we were going to get that apple-juicing hot tub to the backyard, and we would do it with or without the help of those dolleys. After somehow getting the dolleys out from under the thing, a process that took an entire hour on its own, we carefully moved the plywood to create a trail over the grass leading to our final destination, and proceeded to roll the hot tub. Yes, physically roll the freaking full size permanent hot tub on its sides until it landed on the only side it had left whose wall and frame were still in tact. From there, the idea became that all of us together would push the hot tub over the surface of the plywood until arriving in the backyard. Oh yes folks, it was time for the main event. Pushing a hot tub. This was going to be interesting.

Essentially, the next few hours were spent scraping the last remaining surface of the hot tub across one of the planks of the plywood. Whenever we got to the end, the plywood behind us moved from the back of us to the front, and the process of actually moving the plywood plank from behind to in front became increasingly difficult as the space between the Stanger's house and the fence that ended their property became more and more narrow. At this point the hot tub was completely broken. Anytime a spare part caught on something, be it house or fence, one of us would just pull the entire piece off and throw it aside so we could just get the darn thing moving again. And then, with barely a skeleton remaining to show for itself, the free hot tub crashed to the ground at exactly where sister Stanger wanted it. Now, you have to realize, at this point there was practically nothing left of this thing. It was inherently obvious to everybody there, especially to the men of the Stanger household, that this hot tub was beyond repair. It was long gone. And that was why they got it for free. I knew that the Kailua Clan had acted just a little too happy when we drove off. That day we had basically saved them from having to pay a bulk trash man to remove it. The Kailua Clan probably rejoiced that night. Us mature men, however, did not. We stood there beholding the most thoroughly trashed jacuzzi any of us had ever seen, and we silently applauded ourselves as the ones who had defeated that heaven forsaken hot tub. As the reality of the situation finally hit sister Stanger, her son looked at her and neither of them said anything. "You look disappointed mom" he said, almost playfully. We all busted up laughing, and as a massive, stinky, sweating mass, we made our way amongst the entire squad, except sister Stanger, and we group hugged. We had achieved victory over the dreaded hot tub. Today was the day we rose above ourselves, the day we beat the odds, the day we spent 7 hours moving a freaking hot tub from Kailua to Kaneohe, and at long last the journey had finally ended. It was at this point that Shawn, Elder Hoke and I made our way to a ramen shop for dinner, still dripping with sweat. As we parted ways with Shawn and his majestic white Tacoma which now smelled of pure man power and testosterone, Shawn left us with one final statement after thanking us for our efforts.

"You know guys, I'm no expert but I think they might have to replace more than just the motor before that hot tub runs again. Just a hunch though"

We spent basically our entire day doing this. And I feel great.

It's time I'm never getting back.

-This is a bonus email that is what I would have sent last week but did not because I was not able to find the time-

Man, what to even say about this week. It's really been a blast for these past two transfers and I'm really lucky for that. It's been so much fun to be a missionary that to tell you the truth I didn't really feel like, well, 'a missionary'. I felt like a person, whose job is to love and care for people everyday. Of course, as with all good things this too must come to an end. I cannot tell you how much I'm going to miss Elder England. He's been a best friend and a teacher, and I've learned so much from being his companion that I can't even put it all into words. Life in Kaneohe is going to be much harder without him in it. We had some great times together and to tell you the truth we tried everything we could think of out here as missionaries to generate attention to the gospel, and thanks to Elder England we're finally making a lot of progress!

Solomon and Co. are still set to be baptized on October 13th, and they have only gotten more excited about it!! One of the things I'm grateful for is to have been given the chance to see them be baptized, as my transfer news revealed that yet again, I'm sticking with the Kaneohe 4th Ward. By the end of this transfer I will have stayed in Kaneohe for 7½ months total! That's crazy! I must say of all the places I've served as a missionary on the island of O'ahu, this has got to be the one that feels the most like home. From the beautiful mountains that I say hello to every morning at the start of the day, to the sapphire blue ocean, I have a soft spot for Kaneohe in the depths of my heart, and I hope that love never fades. That said, I'd be lying to you if I said I wasn't extremely nervous going into this next transfer, and taking of over the area for a 2nd time in a row.

My new companion's name is Elder Hoke, and I've never met him before. Knowing you'll be living with a complete stranger for the next 6 weeks is stressful enough, and it's what made those first few days with Elder England so challenging, but as if that isn't enough stress for you and your entire family, it gets better. (and by better I mean not better, but worse) You see I've lived here in Kaneohe for a little over 6 months, that's a 4th of my entire mission devoted to one place. And while I'm ways learning new things here, and I love the people here like they are my own family, K4 is not the biggest fish in the puddle if you know what I mean. It's like the Rhode Island of mission areas, and it took walking across the entire area multiple times on exchanges to reach a total of 14.9 miles that one time. That was still way too much walking around, but you get the point. The boundaries for this area are tiny, and there's only so many things the same person can do to in the same area with the same people. After Solomon's upcoming baptisms I'm not exactly sure what to do next, but Elder England has taught me a lot about what to do when in doubt, so the current plan is to take what I have learned from him and apply it as necessary. Hopefully I've learned enough from him that it will be enough.

One cool story of the week though involving Solomon, and this one's pretty cool for all you fellow anime fans out there, but especially for Zac, he will be super jealous. Solomon you see, loves anime too, as I believe I've said before. Anyway, we're such good friends now, he and I, that he gave me a Shenron figure! Shenron is a legendary Dragon from DragonBall Z who grants wishes. My wish is that this next transfer goes well. Hopefully Shenron pulls through.

Have a good week folks!!