This week was a real trip. I found out the Funimation and Crunchyroll relationship is ending, and I guess my mission has improved my patience overall, because I was able to (mostly) contain my overwhelming sadness regarding this monumental crisis. It's okay, I'll get over it, but let it be known that I'm taking this break up very hard. And also, for those of you who have no clue what I'm talking about, don't try to look it up or make it a priority to figure out what the heck any of this means. As Gandhi once said:
"Well you'll probably figure it out sometime"
(I'm paraphrasing of course)
Anyway, the big thing I have discovered is that I have yet to talk about Elder Hoke a whole lot. I didn't realize it though, I figured I already told you all everything. Well, I guess I didn't, so here goes nothing-
WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU TO EXCITING NEWS!!! IT'S FINALLY HERE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!! THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!
That's right folks, it's time for the one, the only, the two weeks late Simulcast of...
THE OCTOBER 2018 SATURDAY GENERAL CONFERENCE ABRIDGED!!!!
In the words of the great Koro Sensei-"Let's get started shall we?"
Well, another General Conference has come and gone, and at this point I'm sure you all know what this means it's time for, the unedited, uncensored, unlovable abridged version, in which I watched everything to give you just the highlights! The opening act seemed to be the prayer itself, which honestly went on for forever. Clearly someone was salty about not being asked to give a talk, Look, Steve, we get it. You wanted to give a talk. We all do deep down(?), but it's not your turn so please try to be patient ok? We aren't here for you after all, we're here for President Nelson who addressed us first, and with a bit of a quiver in his voice it appeared he was nervous about something. What was this big monumental change that was to change the course of Sunday? All of us sat in quiet anticipation as he prepped us for the monumental, the incredible, the earth shattering news that was to come, before essentially handing the announcement over to Elder Cook instead. Contrary to popular belief, his talks rarely have anything to do with the culinary arts. No, that would be Elder Ramsay, of the seventy (probably. If there is one. I hope there is one) In a word for word reenactment, Elder Cook's address went something like this:
Elder Cook: *taps microphone* "OK, thanks president for leaving the announcing to me. (under his breath: if people hate me for this announcement I'm blaming it on you) Okay guys, you can all hear me.... OK..." *clears throat*
"starting next year church is only gonna be 2 hours"
-The choir then favored us with a medley of ode to joy and hallelujah-
Unfortunately folks the remainder of Elder Cook's talk may be lost to history for all eternity, as such a gigantic celebratory cheer from the audience erupted that nobody really bothered to listen to the rest of it. Even the dude writing the talks down stopped to join the party. When we finally regained our senses Steven R. Bangerter gave a talk on burying rocks to study a gospel centered foundation. It was a great talk despite the accusations of many, considering it to be highway robbery. It's awful how a name can build such a reputation.... Moving on, we got high on some mountains for a while with the choir, and then Elder Rasband gave an incredibly interesting and important talk by bringing to the table a comprehensive guide to Nekomonogatari Shiro! Made even more impressive by the inclusion of bamboo in the flower arrangements this time.
~SMART JOKE!!!!!~
In all seriousness it wasn't exactly 100% about anxiety specifically, but the topic of fear and worry is incredibly similar, with the core message being overcoming fear and life's obstacles. David A. Bednar talked about multiple strands of string winding together to create powerful and strong ropes. He also seemed to be at the end of his own personal rope when he cautioned us to not try to read too deeply into the changes. I'm willing to bet at least 2¢ that his inbox has been flooded recently about that. Speaking of full inboxes, Dallin H. Oaks threw caution to the wind and called out transgender people of the world, in a very true but also very blunt talk that leads me to believe his inbox is about to be full too. Hopefully the social justice warriors weren't paying attention. As the sun climbed higher in the sky, the afternoon session came to a start. With so much great news having already befallen us, everyone watched eagerly, wondering what could possibly happen next. Aside from the choir.... Which seemed to be.... Green. Yes, they appear to be bright neon green! Scientists have yet to explain why this is happening, but it's believed that the MTC has something to do with it... As D. Todd Christofferson made his way to the stand, we all prepped for something amazing!
"In old testament history..."
Alright, moving on, next we heard from Dean M. Davies who gave us the temple building equivalent of Shirobako. (aka: how it's made temple edition feat. President Hinckley) After the Dean was done, we had a brief word from our sponsor, National Geographic.
"Today's program is on the amazing Amazon River, and it's effects on the world at large"
In all seriousness he said the river had fresh water if you recall, but then they showed a picture and I don't know about you, but that did not look fresh to me at all. That river was just about the most dark, murky, polluted looking river I've ever seen. I know that's not the point of the talk but honestly just look at it!
Finally, Elder Uchtdorf gave us the reason why it isn't called shepherding. It wasn't because shepherding is a weird fake word. It wasn't because ministering sounds more like a catholic or Jehovah's Witness program. No, it's simply because if it was shepherding Elder Uchtdorf would technically be called a German shepherd.
OK, I laughed.
And that's all for the Saturday Edition. Be on the lookout for the Sunday session! Coming when you least expect it!
Anyway, I was going to talk about Elder Hoke. He's from Washington state, but according to him he isn't from the "pretty" side. I guess it's like Hawaii with the rainy side and the butt ugly dead and empty side. Also know as the "right" side and the "wrong" side. Sorry, I meant Leeward and Windward. Anyway, he's a very tall man. And he likes to wear cheese-it print shorts. Much like Elder England, he was transferred here from the big island. Unlike Elder England, he absolutely hates this area and wanted to stay where he was. I've attempted several times now to find out why this is, as to me Kaneohe is the best there is, but I've yet to get a real response out of him. We get along well though, and I think he is a great person, it's just a bit tough to work with him because he doesn't really want to be here very much. He's starting to open up to the ward and area a little bit though. That's nice. I'm trying to share my love for this people and this area with him like my trainer did for me when I was feeling homesick. He'll be alright. This week I went on exchanges with Elder Hayes, who is a Zone Leader now. (weird considering he came out after me) We're still best friends, he and I, and I can't say that it will be easy to be without him again. He's followed me everywhere though. Mililani, Makakilo, and now here, so I'm pretty sure that I'll eventually see him again after this area. While we were together I put that gas mask to good use. Mold had built up on the base boards and it was making us sick, so I donned the gas mask and cleaned it all up. Our pad is now spotless, and you'll be happy to hear that the gas mask worked perfectly. It was a wonderful experience. It even cleared out my stuffy nose with-in seconds of putting it on. I'm not sure how it did that, but it works every time. It totally filtered the air, and made me sound like one of those yellow hazmat guys from Monsters Inc whenever I said anything. It's awesome. I love it.
In other news, this week was the Halloween party in the ward. I was a secret agent disguised as a missionary. Nobody even figured it out, so I'd say the costume was a success. The young men put up a spook alley in the overflow, which was awesome! And everybody set up their own little booths. (Not to get super self absorbed or anything, but I saw a few people dressed up as Gary Randal. Aka Grim Reapers) There were also a lot of Gravity Falls costumes, which was awesome! It was a great time overall, and I was really excited to be a part of it. Oh, and we finally got a picture of the hot tub. The stupid, busted hot tub which still looks exactly the same. But it is a picture, so yay!!!!
Quote of the Week:
"I don't know everything, I just know what I know"
-Tsubasa Hanekawa, 化物語
"Well you'll probably figure it out sometime"
(I'm paraphrasing of course)
Anyway, the big thing I have discovered is that I have yet to talk about Elder Hoke a whole lot. I didn't realize it though, I figured I already told you all everything. Well, I guess I didn't, so here goes nothing-
WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU TO EXCITING NEWS!!! IT'S FINALLY HERE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!! THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!
That's right folks, it's time for the one, the only, the two weeks late Simulcast of...
THE OCTOBER 2018 SATURDAY GENERAL CONFERENCE ABRIDGED!!!!
In the words of the great Koro Sensei-"Let's get started shall we?"
Well, another General Conference has come and gone, and at this point I'm sure you all know what this means it's time for, the unedited, uncensored, unlovable abridged version, in which I watched everything to give you just the highlights! The opening act seemed to be the prayer itself, which honestly went on for forever. Clearly someone was salty about not being asked to give a talk, Look, Steve, we get it. You wanted to give a talk. We all do deep down(?), but it's not your turn so please try to be patient ok? We aren't here for you after all, we're here for President Nelson who addressed us first, and with a bit of a quiver in his voice it appeared he was nervous about something. What was this big monumental change that was to change the course of Sunday? All of us sat in quiet anticipation as he prepped us for the monumental, the incredible, the earth shattering news that was to come, before essentially handing the announcement over to Elder Cook instead. Contrary to popular belief, his talks rarely have anything to do with the culinary arts. No, that would be Elder Ramsay, of the seventy (probably. If there is one. I hope there is one) In a word for word reenactment, Elder Cook's address went something like this:
Elder Cook: *taps microphone* "OK, thanks president for leaving the announcing to me. (under his breath: if people hate me for this announcement I'm blaming it on you) Okay guys, you can all hear me.... OK..." *clears throat*
"starting next year church is only gonna be 2 hours"
-The choir then favored us with a medley of ode to joy and hallelujah-
Unfortunately folks the remainder of Elder Cook's talk may be lost to history for all eternity, as such a gigantic celebratory cheer from the audience erupted that nobody really bothered to listen to the rest of it. Even the dude writing the talks down stopped to join the party. When we finally regained our senses Steven R. Bangerter gave a talk on burying rocks to study a gospel centered foundation. It was a great talk despite the accusations of many, considering it to be highway robbery. It's awful how a name can build such a reputation.... Moving on, we got high on some mountains for a while with the choir, and then Elder Rasband gave an incredibly interesting and important talk by bringing to the table a comprehensive guide to Nekomonogatari Shiro! Made even more impressive by the inclusion of bamboo in the flower arrangements this time.
~SMART JOKE!!!!!~
In all seriousness it wasn't exactly 100% about anxiety specifically, but the topic of fear and worry is incredibly similar, with the core message being overcoming fear and life's obstacles. David A. Bednar talked about multiple strands of string winding together to create powerful and strong ropes. He also seemed to be at the end of his own personal rope when he cautioned us to not try to read too deeply into the changes. I'm willing to bet at least 2¢ that his inbox has been flooded recently about that. Speaking of full inboxes, Dallin H. Oaks threw caution to the wind and called out transgender people of the world, in a very true but also very blunt talk that leads me to believe his inbox is about to be full too. Hopefully the social justice warriors weren't paying attention. As the sun climbed higher in the sky, the afternoon session came to a start. With so much great news having already befallen us, everyone watched eagerly, wondering what could possibly happen next. Aside from the choir.... Which seemed to be.... Green. Yes, they appear to be bright neon green! Scientists have yet to explain why this is happening, but it's believed that the MTC has something to do with it... As D. Todd Christofferson made his way to the stand, we all prepped for something amazing!
"In old testament history..."
Alright, moving on, next we heard from Dean M. Davies who gave us the temple building equivalent of Shirobako. (aka: how it's made temple edition feat. President Hinckley) After the Dean was done, we had a brief word from our sponsor, National Geographic.
"Today's program is on the amazing Amazon River, and it's effects on the world at large"
In all seriousness he said the river had fresh water if you recall, but then they showed a picture and I don't know about you, but that did not look fresh to me at all. That river was just about the most dark, murky, polluted looking river I've ever seen. I know that's not the point of the talk but honestly just look at it!
Finally, Elder Uchtdorf gave us the reason why it isn't called shepherding. It wasn't because shepherding is a weird fake word. It wasn't because ministering sounds more like a catholic or Jehovah's Witness program. No, it's simply because if it was shepherding Elder Uchtdorf would technically be called a German shepherd.
OK, I laughed.
And that's all for the Saturday Edition. Be on the lookout for the Sunday session! Coming when you least expect it!
Anyway, I was going to talk about Elder Hoke. He's from Washington state, but according to him he isn't from the "pretty" side. I guess it's like Hawaii with the rainy side and the butt ugly dead and empty side. Also know as the "right" side and the "wrong" side. Sorry, I meant Leeward and Windward. Anyway, he's a very tall man. And he likes to wear cheese-it print shorts. Much like Elder England, he was transferred here from the big island. Unlike Elder England, he absolutely hates this area and wanted to stay where he was. I've attempted several times now to find out why this is, as to me Kaneohe is the best there is, but I've yet to get a real response out of him. We get along well though, and I think he is a great person, it's just a bit tough to work with him because he doesn't really want to be here very much. He's starting to open up to the ward and area a little bit though. That's nice. I'm trying to share my love for this people and this area with him like my trainer did for me when I was feeling homesick. He'll be alright. This week I went on exchanges with Elder Hayes, who is a Zone Leader now. (weird considering he came out after me) We're still best friends, he and I, and I can't say that it will be easy to be without him again. He's followed me everywhere though. Mililani, Makakilo, and now here, so I'm pretty sure that I'll eventually see him again after this area. While we were together I put that gas mask to good use. Mold had built up on the base boards and it was making us sick, so I donned the gas mask and cleaned it all up. Our pad is now spotless, and you'll be happy to hear that the gas mask worked perfectly. It was a wonderful experience. It even cleared out my stuffy nose with-in seconds of putting it on. I'm not sure how it did that, but it works every time. It totally filtered the air, and made me sound like one of those yellow hazmat guys from Monsters Inc whenever I said anything. It's awesome. I love it.
In other news, this week was the Halloween party in the ward. I was a secret agent disguised as a missionary. Nobody even figured it out, so I'd say the costume was a success. The young men put up a spook alley in the overflow, which was awesome! And everybody set up their own little booths. (Not to get super self absorbed or anything, but I saw a few people dressed up as Gary Randal. Aka Grim Reapers) There were also a lot of Gravity Falls costumes, which was awesome! It was a great time overall, and I was really excited to be a part of it. Oh, and we finally got a picture of the hot tub. The stupid, busted hot tub which still looks exactly the same. But it is a picture, so yay!!!!
Quote of the Week:
"I don't know everything, I just know what I know"
-Tsubasa Hanekawa, 化物語
Pictures: #1 A rare picture of Elder Hoke in his natural habitat I took this morning. He gets very tired, and so do I, but he can actually sleep longer somehow and I find it very amusing. (He's been out 18 months, usually by now your body adjusts to the time schedule and it becomes physically impossible to oversleep.)
#2 The stupid hot tub
#3-4 Me in my awesome gas mask doing some cleaning
#5-6 Mosquitos are of the devil around here.
#7 Ice cream is expensive
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