Hup This Crap I'm Going in the Golf Cart

Well, I mean I guess in hindsight this week probably could have gone a lot worse than it did, so somewhere there's something to be grateful for. That said, the best part of the week to me was last P Day.

So as a missionary in Hawaii the most common things you hear are jokes about the great vacation you must be having from the tourists. I... I no longer enjoy tourists. Half the time on P Day my job is to entertain member tourists at Walmart, or to try and explain to people that I don't actually work there, but am instead, get this: doing my shopping. I know, mind boggling. So, before anything else, and so you can fully appreciate the story I'm about to tell you, let me set the record straight real quick. My mission is not a vacation. I don't perceive it that way, have never perceived it that way, and to be completely honest with you I probably wouldn't choose to go on vacation here anyway. It's just not my thing. Now that said, I'd choose to vacation here after my mission so I can have an excuse to come visit people, but you get the point.

Every time somebody here on vacation tries to crack a joke at me I have to smile and pretend that these are the first members in the history of the church to take a vacation to Hawaii and run into the elders there, and that it doesn't happen at least 3 or 4 times a week, and that I have all day to chat about what part of Utah they're from. And they all think it's just the greatest place to serve a mission, which it is by the way but not for any of the reasons they think. Half of the people call it serving a vacation, and we just play along because Elders aren't supposed to make visiting members feel stupid. But here's the deal. Most of time, I just want to get my shopping done. If I'm at a Walmart, it's not because I'm trying to go out of my way to find people to talk to. It's because I am an actual living human being that is running low on food, and if I don't trek out to Walmart on a regular basis I will starve. Because you cannot bike around 80 hours a week and live if all you eat is top ramen and kraft Mac and cheese. So that's one thing down. Secondly, as a personal challenge from me to you, next time you're at a store, say Walmart or Target, look at the employee uniforms, and then think about the difference between what the employees are wearing and what a missionary wears. Do this, and know that whatever the employees are wearing is probably a lot more comfortable than what missionaries wear. And then make an effort to never confuse a missionary for an employee. Ever. It's funny the first time. After that it's just stupid.

So that's out of the way, now we can get to the part where I just tell you what I did this week. I talked before about how this isn't a vacation, which I did mainly because I think the knowledge of that fact adds to the irony of this whole situation. On P-day, Elder York and I went golfing at a relatively cheap course in Kalaheo. Now, I'm no pro golfer like Elder York is but I do have some experience at wii sports golf, and I also played Mario Golf World Tour on the 3DS a lot, so I figured maybe I could give it a whirl. Now I don't mean to brag, but I actually had a lot of pretty good swings in that game, and some of them even hit the ball. I mostly just served as comic relief for the other three players, because at this course you are required to play in a group of 4 maximum and minimum. The other two who played with us ended up being nonmembers who live in our area, which was good for us because they couldn't escape us for the next two and a half hours, and that means we can share whatever we want and they have no out. Naturally, we just played golf and answered any questions they had about who we are and what we do as we went along. It was probably the most effective missionary work that happened all week, and it happened in the most vacation-ey way possible. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I should just treat this mission like a vacation, because thus far that's been the most effective thing to do. Anyway, one of the guys there, named Falcon, was kind of interested it seems. We found him later in the week, stumbling drunkenly home, and he gave us some helpful advice as only a drunk person can do. He told us to stop forcing religion on people so much, because they don't like it. Instead, he said, we should just be nice people, and eventually the people would open up. People see us biking around, and we don't even have to do anything other than continue to try, because we represent Jesus Christ and people know and respect that, and we need to respect their opinions on the matter and not try to force them to come to church and read the Book of Mormon. After that, he told us he enjoyed golfing with us and would like to talk more sometime. He told us where he lived, but we haven't seen him since. Leo also seemed to just drop off the earth this week. I'm not sure when we will be able to meet with him again. We saw Walt again this week, but that was probably the last time we will. It's created a massive problem for us and it's not worth it. He's just not interested in learning from us about the gospel, he just needs friends to talk to him and listen to him. As many of my peers and leaders have said now, it's just not my job to take care of the guy. It's just creating this massive conflict between me and everyone else because I feel like even if he's not interested, he's one of the sheep too, and if he enjoys my company it could only be good to talk with him every now and again. I think being able to relate to him and look after him is something I'm supposed to be doing as a child of God, to help other children of God and nurture them along the way, and yet, according to the mission leaders, and my companion, visiting him is a waste of time and somehow not an okay thing to do, even though I know for a fact after biking around in the dark everyday that we legitimately have nothing better to be doing. That said, I get yelled at. Being a missionary is a good thing. But the Lord didn't ask Peter to be a missionary. He asked him, of all things, to feed his sheep. To look after the flock. To comfort those in need of comfort. But I guess somewhere along the lines that translates to "only feed the sheep if they want to join the church". Either way, I'm done being the only one standing up about it, so we're dropping Walt because he has unknowingly created contention. I'm not doing this by myself anymore. I'm just going to do the bare minimum and follow the rules exactly (which is what I thought I was doing before by the way) and just not speak unless spoken to. Because clearly, trying out of turn is sinful. Being nice to lonely elders is a waste of time. Shortly after that meeting, we lost contact with the Japanese family. Nobody came to church this week either, and Happy went to Malukai and hasn't come back yet. I feel like I'm being punished for my efforts every time I try. I'm just trying to be better today than I was yesterday, and nobody cares. And then I heard a talk on Sunday about a certain parable. Where hired servants get paid equally despite differing work ethics among them, and the point struck a chord with me.

It wasn't so much about what they did overall, it was about what they did with what they were given.

Each of us has a different capacity. Our abilities differ and we each struggle with different things. My struggle right now is feeling like I'm wrong for trying to follow Jesus Christ's example. Maybe there's hope for the future. Maybe there's hope for this week. All I know is that right now, Im struggling to have any hope at all. The reserves have run dry in the optimism tank, and all I have left that brings me joy is my doodles. My eyesight has been acting up again lately though, so maybe I don't even have art to look forward to for much longer.

At least golfing was fun.

Pictures: The super blood wolf moon yesterday night. Didn't get a good enough picture honestly, but you can see the red kind of. It was cool.

This is not a chicken. It's actual name is the "Red Jungle Fowl". It is however commonly confused for the chicken. (look it up)

Kids-Baked fresh in Hawaii. Keep baby Kate away from here.

 Elder York chips his way to a par on hole 4.
Our view from within the mighty golf carriage. Our cart was designed for greatness.

This is a strange sight. Another type of tree growing out of the side of a palm tree at the Golf course. I've never seen anything like it. Apparently, this thing has claimed quite a few golf balls over the years.

Dinner-Hawaiian Style. This is why we attend child of record baptisms. The food, man.
The tiny river where the the neighborhood kids go fishing.
The surprisingly large fish the kids caught in that tiny river.