Well, I guess in hindsight it could have been worse. I could have had a brain tumor or something.
So the first thing I noticed in my move from Kekaha, Kauai to Hilo, Hawaii was the sheer size. "Big Island" is an understatement, this place is COLOSSAL. Of course, it's the youngest island, and it's still growing, but one of the most notable differences is that big island has cows. Yes, cows. I had no idea how much I missed cows until a few days ago. Boy howdy it was weird. Moo! Anyway, I'm sure my rediscovery of cows isn't exactly a riveting subject at the moment considering what this email is called, so let me just say that no, it wasn't my companion or something, it was me. I went on a trip to the emergency room this week, and it was quite the adventure. In that regard, I suppose I'll start from the beginning and explain how it is that all of this transpired, what on earth happened to me, and how all of this resolved itself in the end. So then, where does this long story begin? Answer: Kauai. The Cute Island strikes again.
About a week ago I got some sort of cold or something. You know. plugged sinuses, headache, the whole deal. So I'm cleaning my ears out with a cotton swab because, honestly that's just what you do when you get plugged ears. Everybody hates earwax. Well-I was doing that-and as I pull out the Q-tip from my left ear, I notice that my hearing all of the sudden is pretty muffled on the left side. Immediately I'm like: "Oh no. I just got cotton stuck in my ear what do I do." So I look at Elder Atwood and I go "Hey, I'm pretty sure I just got cotton stuck in my ear." And of course he's just like "alright then". And I'm just like "Well, okay what now" and eventually I just decided to wait and see if it goes away, because I was sick anyway so maybe it was just plugged I dunno. Next day, still plugged. This is about the point where I'm thinking to myself I wonder if it's a problem that I got some cotton in my ears. So I asked my mom via email and she told me not to worry too much about it and just get some ear drops for it. That made sense to me. Mom also said that within a few days it would just work its way out of my system anyway, and I was like "makes sense to me." and let it be. Now the real kicker was that airplane trip to Oahu. Oh boy the trip to Oahu... See, plane rides are known for messing with your ears. It's just a fact of life. You fly-your ears pop. It's like the slogan of flight or something. Well, my ears popped, but still felt muffled. Every single flight. (Two of them to get to Oahu and back to Kauai, followed by a third and fourth after transfer news to get from Kauai to Oahu, and then from Oahu to Hilo.) No changes in muffled hearing. No big deal though, because in a couple days it will all be gone. Right?
WRONG.
So a total of 8 days go by after asking my mom about it, and I decided '8 days' was too much to be considered 'a couple'. Fast forward to Friday. It was at this point that we went to urgent care, and they said "Hey folks, we don't have the tools to deal with that at the moment, but you know who does? Yeah the emergency room. Go there instead." I feel like I should have freaked out or been nervous or something, but I mean it didn't exactly hurt at all and I figured that it would be a painless procedure to just get some tweezers and pull out a cotton ball, so I remained pretty calm about all of this. Into the emergency room I went along with Elder Brooksby. And there, we waited for about 45 minutes. After that, some lady called me in and asked me what was wrong, and I said, apparently very loudly-"I have cotton stuck in my ear." So the lady checks this and says "I'm not sure what that is, but it's not cotton. Looks like a dead bug or something." Again, I feel like this is the moment when most people start to freak out a little bit. Did I freak out? No, not really. I believe my exact words were "oh okay cool". And then she gave me a little wrist band thing and said, "Wait outside until we have room for you in the emergency room" and I said "alright." I guess it must have been a busy day or something, because we sat there for another hour and fifteen minutes. In that time, a kid showed up whose leg was falling off. He was pretty calm honestly. He just sat there in a wheel chair playing Paper Mario Sticker Star on his little 2DS and not doing much. His leg though, was being held together by duct tape. They asked his mom if they could put him to sleep to fix it, and the mom said "No, I don't believe in that kind of thing". And I thought that was kind of cruel because whatever was about to happen was not gonna be comfortable and if it were me I'd rather sleep through it.
So, they finally sat me down, and the doctor checked it out. I asked what he saw in there and he said: "What is in there... is a whole lot of wax". Apparently, what had occurred was that in the process of trying to clean my ears with a Q-tip I had actually pushed the wax down into my inner ear. He said he couldn't see my eardrum, which was probably why I was having trouble hearing anything. The solution was to pour a weird liquid that was actually a stool softener into my ear and let it sit there for 20 minutes. Yeah, it was just as uncomfortable as it sounds. The reason behind doing this was to allow the "wax brick that you've got in there" to break apart and soften. Well, they got me in a bed, and poured poop softener in my ear while my head was tilted on its side. Then they left me there. For an hour. I guess that's what 20 minutes is in big island time. I was only a room across from that leg kid from earlier, and occasionally I'd just hear these horrible screaming sounds from over there, and the collective yells of like 6 different doctors, one of which said "Why didn't you put him to sleep?!" Once again. Normally this is where the panic sets in. They've forgotten me and left me with poop softener in my ear, and all I can hear is screaming and really bad medical care. In the emergency room. For an hour. But still, I just waited, and Elder Brooksby sat patiently waiting for whatever was going to happen to me to happen. And then, finally, this guy comes in and asks me if I'm ready. And then he explains the procedure. First, I lift my head and the poopoo breaker pours out. Okay. Done. My neck hurts really bad from being turned like that for an hour, but whatever. You've got a screaming fully awake 7 year old with a leg gash to take care of, so I'm secondary to that. Understood. I'm okay with that. Next thing is that he takes out a squirt gun with a needle on the end. And he tells me he's going to stick that in my ear and shoot the inside of my ear with water to get rid of the wax. He also said I could expect serious head aches, nausea, pain, and even vertigo during the process. This is the part where I should have freaked out, because about 6 red flags go up whenever any of those things are mentioned to me usually. Yet, somehow I remained calm. And that's when the fun began. He stuck that stupid thing way far back in my ear, and then he shot the water. This process went on for about 15-20 minutes.
So a total of 8 days go by after asking my mom about it, and I decided '8 days' was too much to be considered 'a couple'. Fast forward to Friday. It was at this point that we went to urgent care, and they said "Hey folks, we don't have the tools to deal with that at the moment, but you know who does? Yeah the emergency room. Go there instead." I feel like I should have freaked out or been nervous or something, but I mean it didn't exactly hurt at all and I figured that it would be a painless procedure to just get some tweezers and pull out a cotton ball, so I remained pretty calm about all of this. Into the emergency room I went along with Elder Brooksby. And there, we waited for about 45 minutes. After that, some lady called me in and asked me what was wrong, and I said, apparently very loudly-"I have cotton stuck in my ear." So the lady checks this and says "I'm not sure what that is, but it's not cotton. Looks like a dead bug or something." Again, I feel like this is the moment when most people start to freak out a little bit. Did I freak out? No, not really. I believe my exact words were "oh okay cool". And then she gave me a little wrist band thing and said, "Wait outside until we have room for you in the emergency room" and I said "alright." I guess it must have been a busy day or something, because we sat there for another hour and fifteen minutes. In that time, a kid showed up whose leg was falling off. He was pretty calm honestly. He just sat there in a wheel chair playing Paper Mario Sticker Star on his little 2DS and not doing much. His leg though, was being held together by duct tape. They asked his mom if they could put him to sleep to fix it, and the mom said "No, I don't believe in that kind of thing". And I thought that was kind of cruel because whatever was about to happen was not gonna be comfortable and if it were me I'd rather sleep through it.
So, they finally sat me down, and the doctor checked it out. I asked what he saw in there and he said: "What is in there... is a whole lot of wax". Apparently, what had occurred was that in the process of trying to clean my ears with a Q-tip I had actually pushed the wax down into my inner ear. He said he couldn't see my eardrum, which was probably why I was having trouble hearing anything. The solution was to pour a weird liquid that was actually a stool softener into my ear and let it sit there for 20 minutes. Yeah, it was just as uncomfortable as it sounds. The reason behind doing this was to allow the "wax brick that you've got in there" to break apart and soften. Well, they got me in a bed, and poured poop softener in my ear while my head was tilted on its side. Then they left me there. For an hour. I guess that's what 20 minutes is in big island time. I was only a room across from that leg kid from earlier, and occasionally I'd just hear these horrible screaming sounds from over there, and the collective yells of like 6 different doctors, one of which said "Why didn't you put him to sleep?!" Once again. Normally this is where the panic sets in. They've forgotten me and left me with poop softener in my ear, and all I can hear is screaming and really bad medical care. In the emergency room. For an hour. But still, I just waited, and Elder Brooksby sat patiently waiting for whatever was going to happen to me to happen. And then, finally, this guy comes in and asks me if I'm ready. And then he explains the procedure. First, I lift my head and the poopoo breaker pours out. Okay. Done. My neck hurts really bad from being turned like that for an hour, but whatever. You've got a screaming fully awake 7 year old with a leg gash to take care of, so I'm secondary to that. Understood. I'm okay with that. Next thing is that he takes out a squirt gun with a needle on the end. And he tells me he's going to stick that in my ear and shoot the inside of my ear with water to get rid of the wax. He also said I could expect serious head aches, nausea, pain, and even vertigo during the process. This is the part where I should have freaked out, because about 6 red flags go up whenever any of those things are mentioned to me usually. Yet, somehow I remained calm. And that's when the fun began. He stuck that stupid thing way far back in my ear, and then he shot the water. This process went on for about 15-20 minutes.
Evidently my ear canal is very narrow and long. Morso that a typical ear. So the doctor said that the best way to keep the levels of wax down was regular swimming. In fact, he stressed that pretty heavily. I withheld my comments and let him finish. He said that I should take care to ensure that my ears were kept free of wax, because otherwise they were going to need to be "flushed" again someday. I could hear everything really well after that. Which was very nice. I still can hear everything really well actually. But that's just about it. The whole process took a full day, and required a bit of rest. I worked with a headache the next day, but I think it was worth it.
We left at 8:30am. We returned at 5:45pm.
It was a long day.
Until next week everyone! Stay safe out there, and clean those ears!
-Elder Rogers
P.S. The big island is very green and lush. I hear there are chameleons here so I am hoping to see one. Elder Brooksby and I are serving in the Ainaola Ward. We live in a pad with two other elders. It's a bit chaotic, but they are both great guys.
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